🌧️ Hun | Bashou バショウ 🎐

I'll see if I can explain it. Imagine you have an allergy to aerosols. Someone puts an automatic air freshener spray in your bedroom because they think it will make it smell nice. You explain that you are allergic. They understand and apologise. The next day you find the spray back in your room

Watched her choke and spill water over herself today and it was the most adorable sight in the world.

Bad thing. Very bad thing.

...What was too difficult for you to understand?

The issue is less that they're choosing to enact microaggressions, it's more so that they're choosing to remain ignorant. They profile me as this or that based on their own assumptions and become completely blasé when I try to correct them. Which is made worse by the fact that I have a dick.

New mission scheduled. Much as I'd like to stay at HQ for a bit longer...

What's the correct reaction to this? Because I don't think it's stabbing.

Thank'n'you.

[They leave. Again.]

For peace and quiet, mostly. But then I found you.

It's not difficult to get lost on this floor.

[They blink.]

You do you, then...

May I leave?

People out here calling me "she"

She went off to find a different machine, but I think she's going to heckle you later. Just a warning...

Five cans of coffee left in the machine and I took all of them just as she arrived.

Well, now you know who to call next time you've trapped a Rattata.

[He smiles.]

[Some minutes later, they come back with exactly five cans of coffee, balanced against their chest.]

By the way, I think Ariana wants you dead. Or at least publicly flogged.

[They hand one of the cans to Proton.]

[Hun shrugs. Leaves. They aren't actually bothered by Proton whatsoever. Been there, honestly.]

1/2

You ever seen a Steelix penetrate a man's guts?

Bold of you to speak that way to someone who has every opportunity to spit in your coffee.

[They move to leave. To follow orders and get coffee, actually. The canned shit, because they can't be bothered finding the instant sachets. Hun is not someone who knows a lot about coffee.]

-:- Just want to reiterate this. I might have to start blocking people who put poképhiIia on my tl

I get it.

[He shrugs]

There's something satisfying about watching someone shift into denial while they're bleeding out in front of you. Schadenfreude and all that; I don't believe in karma as an innate force, but humans are incredibly powerful in their own right...

...What do you need that much caffeine for?

Or is that strictly need-to-know business.

[Do they even want to know?]

[The prospect sends them into such a severe catatonic shock that they can't presently speak. Will get back to her later on that one.]

Had to explain the concept of a binary search to Attila today

Decaf, I hope...

[He glances at the knife in Proton's hand, then back up at his superior.]

With all due respect, I think you know.

...I would say "gossip" but you have a tendency to make such rumours unnecessary to begin with.

Editing...

It is almost 1:00 am and someone down the hall from me just screamed as if they'd been stabbed.

@proton.kills.men What have you been up to?

You're brilliant. Thank you.

Someone's misplaced the key to the general domestic storeroom and I need replacement carpet spray ASAP.

Thanks for that one, Attila.