KNV

A digital self-portrait surrounded by text. A simplified figure, drawn with large and slightly irregular strokes, sits on the ground at the centre of the image. He wraps a black bandage around his right hand and wrist. The text, which is nearly illegible, reads "Flexor tendon ; dominant hand ; endure ; adapt".

Moderately tore/damaged tendons in my dominant hand. Not having a great time. All projects on hold until I've sufficiently recovered. Can only do fine motor activities for a couple minutes at a time (with my dominant hand).

A portion of every dollar spent on Harry Potter merchandise goes to anti-transgender campaigns.

The security duty manager had already told me (I got in touch in advance!) I wouldn't have to remove them before scanners. Told me that if necessary, after a body scan, I'd be provided a place to sit down for the braces to be manually checked.

Nah. Got talked over and treated like shit.

Just had possibly the worst UK airport security experience of my life. Was made to sit down in the middle of the security queue, on the floor, and take off both my knee orthoses, while one of my wrists was recovering from dislocation (made me take that brace off too!). Took several minutes. Agony.

They spoke an African dialect of Portuguese, I spoke messy book-taugut Brazilian Portuguese. I'm not an interpreter, or even properly fluent, but it was good enough to get them through the day.

Hopefully they found someone. Hopefully those two days showed their admin they needed proper support.

It was turning down jobs like that which was most heartbreaking when I was on supply eons ago. The "even just being here for a couple days has made a substantial difference, please stay" jobs. I hope they found another Portuguese speaker for those kids. I hope they accessed good ESL support.

Thinking about the two Portuguese speaking year 5 pupils who I supported for just a couple schooldays ~3 and a bit years ago. Was told it was the first time they'd been engaged in class and completed their work (don't blame them—they were bright kids, just didn't speak English). Hope they're well.

I just want to time skip to that phone call where they tell me to come in and get it sliced off. Just get it sorted. Not a fan of waiting, even though I know it is should only be a couple weeks at most.

But people worry, and they feed me the worry. "But what if it's worse than that? It's on top of a lymph node, what if it spread there?"

Then I'll probably get some scans, get that node removed, and maybe some added treatment. But, it's unlikely. It's so small, so early, it's unlikely to need that.

It'll probably all be over in a couple weeks.

"Best" case, I get a call that says it's suspicious, get it removed, and it's found to have been non-cancerous/just a wack mole.

"Perfecrly fine" case, the same as above, but it was stage 0-1.

Either way? New scar on my neck. That'll be neat.

But that's just it really. I have all these other health issues, now I've just added "clean and bandage the suspicious mole until it's removed" to the massive list of self maintenance activities I perform each day. It's a drop in the bucket. An unusual drop, a new drop, but just a drop nonetheless.

I think people are scared on my behalf because they hear "melanoma" and "urgently referred for suspected cancer" and get spooked. They know I have all these other health issues, and get spooked. They see the bandage on my neck and get more spooked.

But I don't like the eggshells at work. Obviously I keep management and my immediate team abreast of things (as sudden absences and such impact them, and communication is key), but I've started getting a lot of "Is there anything you need? Do you need any adjustments?" etc etc.

— sending tea/powders/supplements that they read somewhere can "help slow cancer growth".

I think it's a bit funny in a morbid way. This wee little mole. All this fuss over a 5mm wide brown, bloodied smudge. On my neck. Sending me (checks notes) milk thistle tea and vitamin e capsules.

Not to get all "narrative medicine" with it, but I think the reactions and behaviour of other people are more stressful for me than the actual mole situation.

My spouse is out of the country at the moment, so he's understandably anxious. I live very far from any/all bio family, who have started —

Now we're just waiting. Everything's been sent to the melanoma clinic and we just...wait!

Realistically I know there's a good chance it'll be a "cut it out and get it done with" affair if/when I get a call. It's small. I'm young. Odds are it's either a wack benign mole, or a stage 0 or 1 melanoma.

Long story short, suspicious mole on my neck. Bleeds/weeps unprovoked. Keeping it covered 24/7 to prevent myself from damaging it. Ticks all the ABCDE boxes.

Got the dermoscopy done. From what I can tell, it may have a negative pigment network pattern throughout, and is generally suspicious.

Progress on anything substantial has been brought to a crawl for the time being (fanfic, namely).

I'm having a bit of a cancer "scare" at the moment. Fortunately I'm very reassured by learning as much as possible and doing The Math™. It's nothing too serious, and logically, rationally, I'm alright.

A brightly coloured digital sketch of Shockwave and Soundwave reimagined as bugs from the universe of hollowknight/silksong. Shockwave (shockmoth), a large humanoid silkmoth, sits in the centre with his knees bent in a relaxed posture. He is surrounded by the blue-grey centipede Soundwave (soundipede) who curls around his body. Around then are several more small bugs: a little red centipede, a little blue centipede, a red hornet and a yellow hornet. The additional bugs are much smaller than the main two and implied to replace Soundwave cassettes. In front of Soundwave's face is a plate with the abdomen/thorax of a butchered bug. Text in purple reads: "For you. I have removed the parts you cannot digest." The text is purple, implying this is Shockwave's statement.

bugwaves my adored,,,

#Shockwave #soundwave #wavewave #Transformers #Maccadam

This is the most insane clip we could ever have they are all standing there on their phones doing nothing, see a random person that’s a shade of brown, and then fucking full tilt sprint at them just bc. There is nothing happening it’s just a horde going around imprisoning people

Love bosses like Karmelita because I get to a point where I go "Right. No tools. No fancy tricks. You just have to focus and know exactly how she's going to move, and you need to be better."

Suffice to say, got her ass.

I was genuinely over the moon when I went "fucking toe hook the other end, you don't boulder for nothing". Probably wouldn't have finished it without that incredible toe hook execution.

Thinking about how I assembled my big ass kallax unit, alone, in a tiny sliver of my messy living room during a 2 hour hyperfocus. Thinking about how I had to lay alongside the base and toe hook the other end at one point to maintain enough pressure to push something in. I felt HIGH.

A brightly coloured digital artwork of Shockwave (transformers) re-imagined as a silkmoth from hollowknight/silksong. A large pink/purple silkmoth stands on the right-hand side of the image, using two arms to gesture to a large vertical tank full of dead bugs and blue goo. Two of his limbs are missing, one replaced with an empty socket for a prosthetic, and one replaced with a smaller tank of the same blue goo. It's marked with the artist's tag and date: @kaonarvna 27/09/2025. Text at the top reads: "a worthy sacrifice".

Shockmoth? Mothwave?

#Transformers #Shockwave #Maccadam #silksong #hollowknight #hollowformers

Just posted gen ✨ couldn't resist

an unwanted spawn of the radiance.

born from a motherless egg

inoculated with that strange air.

/

in him it became strange liquid,

in him it became strange flesh.

his strange moults, ruined.

/

he has neither dreams nor honour

yet persists, infected, if only to

watch all others succumb.

A brightly coloured digital drawing of genesis Rhapsodos as a bug from the hollow knight/silksong universe. The central figure has a long segmented red abdomen/thorax, four thin arms, and two long thick legs. He has a damaged wing on his left side, the edges are ripped and malformed. There is a book in his bottom left hand. The mask is cracked on the left side, where orange goop bubbles out. The same infected goop bubbles from his left shoulder. He bears a white mask with a red design from the LOVELESS spine from ff7 crisis core. He carried a large red sword across his back. The words "HER GIFT WILL PURIFY ME, LITTLE BUG" are written in orange and red text around him, with 'purify me' being enlarged. 'Me' is emphasised in red. The artist's tag and dates are in the background, reading: @kaonarvna 27/09/2025

red bastard, bug edition

#genesisrhapsodos #ff7 #ffvii #hollowknight #silksong #crossover #digitalart

THIS CLOSE to making silksong/hollow knight designs for all my fixations. Genesis. Shockwave. Probably others.

Setting session limits/screen time limits back up on my phone has made me acutely aware of why I set the limits in the first place. Wasted all my sessions/app time first thing this morning. Got kicked out of my doomscrolling platform of choice and promptly tossed my phone. Immediately embarrassed.

Autism was first differentiated from schizophrenia in 1911.

Autism was fully recognized as a distinct condition in 1943.

Tylenol wasn’t introduced until 1955.

Anyone who tells you Tylenol causes Autism is completely full of shit.