AlientonX

The Copycat full art card from Pokemon TCG Pocket

You should have heard the way I screamed like a straight man who's team just scored when I got this 🥰

This is fucking brutal, lmao. If you simply push back with the simplest questions to these goons they turn into blubbering incoherent messes.

MAGAZINER: How many veterans have you deported?

NOEM: We haven't deported veterans

MAGAZINER: We are now joined on Zoom by a combat veteran you deported to Korea

The spam bots on Scruff are using A/B testing with both inches and metric units

I'm trying to find a good porn to watch tonight and tell me why I found one of Lance Woods tossing a salad while getting spit roasted

Oprah Pursues Dr. Phil On Ship Through Arctic THE ARCTIC CIRCLE—With a vow to destroy the abomination she had created if it was the last thing she ever did, television host Oprah Winfrey has spent weeks on a ship pursuing Dr. Phil through the Arc...

“I brought this horrid creature into the world, and now I must take him out!” Winfrey said

My birthday is on Fat Cock Friday so happy birthday to me! Your gift can be your nudes and alts in my DMs 😘

Me when weird old guys approach me at the gay bar

I got my ears pierced!

mentally im here

I just learned the Bugs Bunny No meme doesn't even come from him saying no. It's a frame rotated 90 degrees from him taking a drink from a bottle. I needed to share this.

Selfie of me wearing my new necklace, the Deadbolt from Vitaly.

Got a cute new necklace, looking forward to wearing it.

Photo of hotpot spread showing delicious bok choy kimchi made by a friends aunt, various dumplings, and Napa cabbage and chrysanthemum greens. Multiple people are enjoying the hotpot.

Photo of hotpot spread showing rolled beef, Chinese doughnut, tofu, a variety of mushrooms and greens, tofu, and kabocha squash.

I successfully hosted a hotpot night with friends

Screenshot from the latest Pokemon TCG Pocket update which features Psyduck. This item is listed as “Psyduck (icon)”.

And that’s a FACT!

my son is finally being recognized for his talent

A picture of pokemon rumble spheal with the title "FLIP YOUR PHONE" If you flip your phone you will see another picture of pokemon rumble spheal and the text will say "congratulations you flipped your phone" If you are on desktop you can flip your monitor that works too

I was loving how fat my cock looked post-sex. It always takes like 15 minutes for me to get soft after a good fuck and people are always shocked, like "You're STILL hard?"

I got a cute new sweater for Thanksgiving! I love this color.

lauren @NotABigJerk For everyone visiting their parents this week: LG tvs call it TrueMotion Roku/TCL calls it Action Smoothing Samsung calls it Auto Motion Plus Sony calls it MotionFlow Panasonic calls it Intelligent Frame Creation Amazon Fire TVs call it Motion Processing 12/25/22

Yours truly at the huge invader Zim section

There's too many and I'm overwhelmed 😭

SEND HELP, I don't know what to do with all of these 😭😭😭

clarence thomas has no jurisprudential argument, he just hates women and thinks the constitution doesn’t protect a varia suit

I got a new toy and it's just a little bigger than I am, and I'm pretty big. Trust me, it stretched me out nice and good 🥰 #fcf

Happy fat cock friday fellas! #fcf

daddying 🥰

I'm going to invent a perfectly spherical brownie pan with its own gravity so there are absolutely no corners or edges

Can you spot the small edit I made to a real patent application?

Antisemitism is a lot like Qanon child abuse conspiracies in that there’s this real and bad phenomenon and, parallel to that, what can only be described as a large scale mass psychosis about a mostly fictional version of the same phenomenon