Purps McGurps Revengeance

nymag and strange.victory Instagram post. Zohran Mamdani smiles incredulously to someone off camera while standing on a sidewalk next to a cartoon cow holding a lump-with-handle cow tool. Caption reads, "2:32 P.M. at a stop near a Lower East Side polling site: "I ran into the cow from cow tools, which I was just so excited about," he says. "I'm a huge fan, and I was quite starstruck."

america's mayor

I hate that on the rare occasions I dream, it's still entirely people instinctively being repulsed by me and literally running when they see me.

I gave up on real life interactions a long time ago and try not to make my depression other people's problem, but it's a kick to the nuts of the heart.

Two sex offenders shaking hands.

Well well well if it isnt the Blowjob Brothers

I made a joke in my main Discord server about DOOM E1M1 being in a major key and @abigbagofkeys.sickonedude.com actually made it. Jesus fucking Christ listen to this hahahaha

Movie Rosalina

Tashigi
#onepiece

And no, we're not starting that decade counter with No Time to Die, because it does not feel like it's been four years already. We start the timer today and when we get to late 2035, maybe we can all collectively decide then.

At the absolute bare minimum, Bond needs to be retired for a decade or so like they did with Godzilla. If they want us to give two shits about Bond movies, we need time to replenish our shit supply.

Gambit & Rogue are so back! 💗♠️
#MarvelRivals

Who's peerin' out from under a shuttle
Casting a flame that's lighter than air
Who's bending down to fix me a crystal
Everyone knows it's Phoenix
Who's tearing down the streets of the city
Snarlin' at everybody she sees
Who's reachin' out to capture Scott Summers
Everyone knows it's Phoenix

Skater Nancy Kerrigan standing on the sidelines, after a good practice…unbeknownst to her, Tonya Harding lurks behind her lol

Yup, pretty much sums it up

I’ve never drawn Ibuki before so thought it was high time! And what could be more fun than Pocky kunai 🙂‍↕️

It’s Pocky Day~~! Idk have a Pockibuki 🙏
#ポッキーの日

my Edmund Fitzgerald was a Great Lakes freighter for 17 years. i walked with her load of iron ore, twenty-six thousand tons more than she weighed empty. you wouldn't survive 3 seconds in her vagina when the gales of November come early.

i miss her terribly.

A woman standing in her kitchen. She is taking a photo of herself and her boyfriend who is just a circulatory system. The text reads: It is November 10th now. Your circulatory system boyfriend stands by your pan in the kitchen. Unattended cooking is the number one cause of home fires. There are more home fires on Thanksgiving than any other day of the year. Always stand by your pan.

Today.

Fisheye drawing of Spidey

Spider-Man

This is a bad picture but I've never taken a good picture of myself so Lil' Me should be the same.

I was cleaning today and found stuff so I'm glad I saw this news because MIGHTY MUGGS WERE SUPERIOR AND IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE.

Roger Smith in his Chilly persona, freaking out at a poker hand. "What's with these cards, BALATRO? You're screwing me with these cards!"

They call me Chilly because I got ice in my veins.

A WonderSwan Color variant modeled after the classic RX-78-2 Gundam

Oh, hey, lil buddy. Nice to see you again.

...

*rushes to see if it's worth anything*

One of the only valid complaints I ever got was when I actually did respond to said "joke" for once:

"It'll be $19.39."
"tHat WaS a gOod YeAr!!!!1!"
"NO THE FUCK IT WAS NOT"

This job involves paper so it's "So MuCh fOR tHE paPeRlEss oFfiCE!" or - if dropping with sweat - "hOt ENouGh fOr Ya?".

Black Dynamite GIF Alt: Black Dynamite with his usual stern expression: "I am smiling."

I've never told a woman to smile - because what the fuck, why would I do that, that's weird - but I didn't know it was a problematic thing until I was in my 30s because I've been told to smile more every single day of my life.

Almost every single complaint about me in my work history is that I was nice and friendly and helpful but that I have a naturally frowny face, which is not a thing I have control over.

Or they made one of the same shitty jokes every employee hears every ten seconds and I didn't fake a laugh.

We appear to have frog but are awaiting final confirmation.

*opens Weasel's Bestest Big Book o' Video Game Ideas*
*flips past Suicide Squad: The Wall*
*gives Jeremiah Johnson head nod to Mysteries of X/Histories of X*
*clicks pen*

Fantastic Four arcade brawler (that somehow doesn't already exist) with vertical section climbing up Galactus

*closes book*

A shit ton of people have it worse and you should probably give to them instead but if you can throw a few bucks my way I'd appreciate it and if not that's cool too and again I truly hate making this post but my life was finally okay-ish and then it immediately got blown up and that sucks shit thx.

If I can survive until January, my car and its repairs will be paid off and free up over $600 a month and then I'll finally be able to fucking breathe.

Well, no, I won't, because I lost my health insurance and my lungs are failing, but... figuratively. I can figuratively breathe in February.

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Hate doing it but:

Hi, I'm one of those Brokeass Motherfuckers you hear about in books and periodicals. I was a functional brokeass nine months ago, but a domino effect of bullshit means now I'm begging for money from internet strangers to afford gas and food.

cash.app/$WeaselRFU

Lucille bluth saying “Pagliacci!!”

Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed.

Doctor says “great clown pagliacci is in town. Go see him. You’ll feel better”

Man says “but doctor, don’t you mean great magician clown *throws smoke bomb on floor and when it clears he is in full clown getup* PAGLIACCI!”

Doctor: