Lily Kasai

For over a year, I felt silenced. Lucy’s refusal to take accountability, combined with her actions that exacerbated the situation, shows a pattern of deflecting blame and failing to honor the trust and vulnerability I placed in her as a mentor. And this also adds to the abuse.

At one point, they slapped me really hard across the face. Unprompted. Because it was “funny.” When I asked why they would do that, their response—“Well, you never said you didn’t like being slapped across the face”—echoed the same dismissive tone I encountered when asking Lucy for accountability.

My roommate was/is under the impression that I was trying to tear them apart (despite having a copy of the essay), escalated the tension.

This behavior had real consequences in my life, particularly in my living situation with one of her subs, who was also my roommate. After Lucy shared my essay with them, framing it as an attack on their relationship, the tension at home became unbearable.

When I confronted her in an essay, detailing the harm I experienced and the ways she crossed boundaries, she didn’t respond to my claims or engage in any meaningful way. Instead, she privately shared her version of events, which further evades the responsibility of addressing what actually happened.

Lucy presents a different narrative of what happened, one that absolves her of accountability and shifts blame onto me. And I do not know what that narrative is.

When my therapist’s guidance didn’t align with her beliefs or desires, Lucy lectured me, insisting I listen to her instead. It created a dynamic where she expected me to share everything and follow her guidance unquestioningly.

Her years of experience as a dominatrix and certification as a life coach became tools she wielded to override my claims and sometimes even my therapist’s advice.

Lucy imposed herself into the role of a 'life coach'—a position I never asked her to take but was grateful for—and treated me as though she knew me better than I knew myself.

My claims of discomfort were frequently met with comments about how I needed to challenge myself or assurances that I was capable of more or straight up put downs that were really cruel. These remarks often left me feeling shamed or guilted into doing things I wasn’t comfortable with.

There actually have been times when I expressed discomfort or shared my feelings about things I wasn’t okay with, even if I didn’t explicitly label them as boundaries or hard 'No's. It's because I doubted myself that I did not advocate for my 'no's.

I confronted Lucy about this personally.

What is your definition of abuse? Is it not financial exploitation? Was it not coercion to stop escorting despite me trying to stand by my no? Did Harvey Weinstein abuse people? By your logic, it was "their choice"- no?

Where I'm at: While I once hoped for an apology or private accountability from Lucy Sweetkill, I've accepted that such closure will never come. I understand that many will continue to support her despite my speaking out about the abuse I experienced under her mentorship. So why share my story?

I've shed light on the things that enabled my exploitation, mechanisms that have harmed others and will continue to harm more unless we have hard/honest conversations around them. To those who read my words: take from them what you will.

My story stands as both warning and witness. A warning to those who might follow a similar path, and a witness against systems that shield abusers while silencing the abused.

And it's fucking scary. But goddammit, I feel proud of myself for working past that fear to advocate for myself and what I went through. I am not a coward anymore. For people who don't understand how it feels to doubt yourself and erase yourself for so long- it's a big accomplishment for me.

The very insecurity that led me to seek mentorship - the desire to be accepted at the cost of my boundaries - is exactly what I'm breaking free from by sharing my story. I am practicing the courage to 'rock the boat' if it can help bring awareness to others who might find it helpful.

Because truth matters more than comfort. Because staying silent serves no one but those who abuse their power. I would rather post alone/scream into a void and face criticism for speaking out than compromise my integrity by staying quiet.

Where I'm at: While I once hoped for an apology or private accountability from Lucy Sweetkill, I've accepted that such closure will never come. I understand that many will continue to support her despite my speaking out about the abuse I experienced under her mentorship. So why share my story?

Go fuck yourself, Dia. You can pretend to be nice and holistic but people know how fake you are and how you protect abusers and rapists for your own benefit.

When I told Lucy I didn't want to stop escorting- she threatened my living situation, the removal of my community, and the career that I was trying to build. So yeah, I could have said no but there were consequences.

Fucking manipulative.

When I told Lucy I didn't want to stop escorting- she threatened my living situation, the removal of my community, and the career that I was trying to build. So yeah, I could have said no but there were consequences.

This is exactly the type of dismissal I went through after trying to privately get accountability from being harmed.

Yeah it was enough, actually. Sharing my story when I want to is enough for me. I don't care who believes me and I've accepted that Lucy will never apologize and will come up with whatever narrative to make her seem like a victim but I will continue to do my best to advocate what I went through.

I believe that my story should be heard. I deserve to name the person who severely harmed me and took advantage of me. If people are going to pay her $6000 for 3 months, I believe my experience should be factored into people's decision making

You were subtweeting about me and it was sent to me. Expressing that it's my responsibility when you're subtweeting about me is victim blaming. I'm not sure exactly what you think I should be held accountable for especially when I was not in power and I was taken advantage of.

Lucy Sweetkill was my abuser and what I went through under her as her mentee deserves to be heard. I asked for accountability privately since May of 2023 and no one has acknowledged anything.

This post comes across as little victim blamey.

And for the record, I did not seek my mentorship out of vengeance. I was very wounded, yes. But I was open about where I was coming from. I asked for help to feel confident in myself and to feel proud of myself only to have it worse from my mentorship.