Morgaine

🔥 Eirian & Phoenix #timelapse! 🐦

Sketch and Lineart by Lazu 🌿

| #digitalart #WIP #illustration #ocsky #artmoots #タイムラプス #イラスト #創作 #オリキャラ #hsroc #HonkaiStarRailOC |

Salamence is my go to pseudo legendary. I just love the big lug.

Lucario was also a partner of mine through Kalos and couldn’t miss out on our adventures.

Froslass is a new addition, but I think she fits right in.

Delphox is my original XY starter, so couldn‘t miss out on this adventure.

Meganium, my Johto beloved, had to pick my little grass bean.

Scolipede has been a big fav of mine since fifth gen, and also journied with me through Kalos the first time.

My Legends ZA team! All Alpha Pokemon. Froslass, Delphox, Scolipede, Salamence, Meganium, and Lucario!

#LegendsZA #Pokemon

Thanks all for letting me rant about my experiences the past few years regarding me and my health. It is a journey of self discovery and acceptance and I still have a way to go. But we are getting there.

I am not lazy. I am not forgetful. I am not too sensitive. I am not faking it. I am not irresponsible.

I am more than my conditions.

Creative. Smart. Insightful. Empathetic. Loving. A dreamer.

I am Mist, and my story has more chapters yet to be written.

But I am not done fighting. There is too much to love, to live for, to see and create. My friends have been my support and without them I wouldn’t have come this far.

For them. For me.

I will fight, not to survive, but to live a life worth living.

I am honestly tired. Tired and exhausted. Of every time I feel like I got on top of everything, to be knocked down again.

Hayfever, ADHD, and now migraines. These are never going away. I am going to deal with these conditions for life.

Dragged my ass back to the doctor yesterday.

Episodic migraines is the most probably answer to what I am experiencing.

The doctor looked at me weirdly when I said I usually just power through them. Just pop an ibuprofen to dull the pain and go. Like I have any other choice?

I couldn’t move my head without it spinning and hurting. I fell asleep during the day, involuntarily. Walking to the store to grab pain meds hurt, and I was drenched with sweat afterward. It is october, it is cold out. I was only wearing a shirt and a thin vest.

So yeah, fun times.

This will drive regular people nuts, let alone a neurospicy doofus like me.

I have been having more frequent and more severe headaches for years now. This year a headache centered around the eye was added. Stabbing pain, teary eye, the works.

This week it hit again and I had to call out.

So, allergies managed, ADHD medicated, a better, more interesting job.

You’d think everything is all better now right?

Nope, too easy. Currently in a building renovation that started in april and will last until january. Stress, so much stress, and noise. Everyday. 8 hours, starting at 6am.

This despite me asking for help, and to reduce extra responsibilities that just sucked me empty. I left that place and started a new job. One where I fit a lot better personality wise and where they agreed to see if I could grow into a half IT role.

They have gotten a lot, lot better now at helping me deal and organize shit and understanding how my brain is different, so aside from some stumbling at the start we are good now.

My workspace was no longer a fit for me due to a shift in management and I got into a second burnout.

Both inattentive (I scored very high on this type) and hyperactivity (barely met the requirements). I called my parents, test results in hand. And the first thing my mom says to me, “probably negative result, huh?”

I had to repeat it a few weeks later that yes, I have ADHD.

I kept fighting. I kept improving. I was back to work full time. And then the day came that I was to be tested for ADHD. My dad came with me, on request of the facility. Willing to help, but not believing I could have it. I was “too” well adjusted.

Well, I got diagnosed with ADHD.

And I finally felt recognized, I felt seen. I could see I wasn’t the only one struggling with the same damn things.

So back to the doctor. A new one. He didn’t question me. He just grabbed a list and went through it with me.

He said. “You show all the signs. I will be referring you.”

I didn’t feel connected to them. If I am honest, I still don’t really.

But the burnout. Once again I started fighting to get back in the game, in the grind. I searched for a reason why I was so affected by everything.

I stumbled on a YT of a woman who explained the feminine side of ADHD.

As the middle child with an year older sibling that needed more attention and a fiver year younger sibling, I was very… self sufficient.

From a young age I made myself small. Sensitive to the moods of others and independent. My family, as lovely as they are, didn’t get me.

It is hayfever. It was never going to help. Both tree and grass pollen, so I am screwed all year round.

Okay, so that was going to take of most of my issues, right?

No.

Stress, work, and health send me spiraling and I got hit with a burnout. I was exhausted, felt helpless and humilated.

I finally went to the doctor after I got so fucked up from the pain that I was out for the count for three days.

Fought my doctor after he attempted to force a third nasal spray round on me.

“No, this is actually going to help!”

Big fat hell no.

But I graduated. Started my first job. Moved out. Corona happened four months after I started living on my own. And everything fucking fell apart.

It started with an almost uninterrupted headache of over 8 weeks. Yeah, I know. Should have figured something was up. But I again fought through it.

Joint pain, back issues, couldn’t focus for shit, always headaches, fatigued, sound and smell sensitivity, always clogged up, always in pain.

I fought through it all. Finished my BA degree in 4.5 years. Felt like an utter failure for taking longer than expected. After all, I have always been smart.

I don’t usually talk about me and my (mental) health on here, but here it goes since I just want to rant a bit.

Since becoming an adult, almost 13 years ago, I have been met with health setbacks over and over. Both physical and mentally. I never had an explanation for it either.

Full body character portrait art of Morgaine's Honkai Star Rail OC, Eirian, and her phoenix companion!

🔥 Character Portrait commission for Morgaine of her Honkai: Star Rail OC, Eirian, with her phoenix companion! 🐦

Thank you for ordering❣️

Client:
@mistokami.bsky.social

| #commissions |

Outfit design commission of Eirian, Morgaine's OC, with FengHuang themed colors!

Outfit design commission of Eirian, Morgaine's OC, with Peach Garden themed colors!

Outfit design commission of Eirian, Morgaine's OC, with Spruce Forest themed colors!

🌸👗 Outfit Design commission for Morgaine on a new wardrobe addition for her Honkai Star Rail OC, Eirian! 💄✨

Thank you for ordering❣️

Client:
Morgaine | mistokami.bsky.social

We are planning to add this new commission style as part of our menu in the future~

| #commissions |

Sorry for the bad quality, I lost my internet on friday due to renovation mishaps (bound to mobile data atm). But I have been enjoying pokemon Z-A and here is my Trainer and her team!

MistOkami - Twitch We return to Luminose City! It is going to be legendary!

Our grand return to Luminose City!

We are playing Pokemon Legends: Z-A

www.twitch.tv/mistokami

Full body illustration commission for Morgaine in our black and white screentoned style of Eirian, her original Honkai Star Rail character.

💠 Ocean Trench CM of Morgaine's Honkai Star Rail OC, Eirian! 🌺

Thank you for ordering❣️

Client:
Morgaine | mistokami.bsky.social

Chibi art of Morgaine's FFXIV OC, Meledi

Raffle Prize Art for @mistokami.bsky.social

Her lovely FFXIV OC, Meledi ✨🦋
Thank you for letting me draw her!

#art