Jarrod Winter

Obsessed.

Foxy Shazam: “And God knows I've had some rough fucking years”
Probably most people: “I get this”

A mobster movie starring dogs, and there’s a scene where an older mobster dog is in the kitchen with a younger mobster dog and says, “You never know when you’ll have to cook for a bunch of guys. Let me show you how to make the gravy,” and mixes some water into a bowl of kibble.

We must increase bands.

10,001 Maniacs

Colbert rules, CBS drools.

I have an unruly dog that I’m taking care of for somebody else, and after watching “Superman,” I feel seen. Thank you, @jamesgunn.bsky.social

Why is it socially acceptable to say “scabetti” but not “churmavelli”? The possibilities are endless. Racamoni?

Going to Joann’s now feels like being a selfish person visiting a friend in hospice:
“I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I’m going to miss you so much. You don’t need these shoes anymore, do you?”
#joann #joanns

I’m not a tattoo person, but if I was, I’d get a bullseye on the spot on my back that’s always itchy, so my wife would know where to scratch.

Who else needed to see an actual copycat today? 🖤

🔊
🎥tt|triste.710
#cats #bunnies

Lmaooooooooo

I don’t do a Georgian cheese boat until at least the third date. I’m not a slut.

They lost the other tuba players in the transfer portal.

Cis folks, if you have trans folks in your life you care about, explicitly state your support NOW & back it up with communication & help to prove it.

The only support I FEEL now is the loud support.

We'll need help existing from here on out. Don't leave loved ones wondering how alone they are.

It goes without saying but it’s important to keep saying it.

“Legend” seems like an overstatement for Joe Buck. He’s just famous.

Cats fight and then eventually become friends.
Super heroes fight and then eventually become friends.
Are super heroes based on cats?

“Go ahead. Add another day to your 1 day streak!”
I don’t think I appreciate your tone, online game.

The great irony about MAGA’s fixation on DEI is that Trump is actively lowering the standards to serve in government and filling his cabinet with some of the most unqualified people in history to ever hold these positions.

Utah should continue its tradition of keeping names that don’t apply, though I don’t know if there are coyotes in Utah.

It’s better to be a tail wagger than a whale tagger.

Rare selfie from the Hummel Telescope.

I knew we were in trouble as soon as I saw the black glasses.

Ben Folds and Jeremy Irons should get together and start a dry cleaning business.

They could call it Ben and Jerry's.

Help! I got a new ironing board cover, and it’s wrinkly. Please advise.

Why buy the cow when if you want to have sex with milk you can get it for cheaper at the store?

Thank you for a bright side.

Actually, in France male athletes wear jacquestraps to protect their oui ouis

Casanova was not very popular in Spain, because his name translated to “House no go.”