Gem Borealis

Subway Employee Still Unnerved By High-Pitched Screech Sandwiches Make When Cut In Half

Subway Employee Still Unnerved By High-Pitched Screech Sandwiches Make When Cut In Half https://theonion.com/subway-employee-still-unnerved-by-high-pitched-screech-1819576148/

Oh yeah that’s right I saw that post earlier
If I knew anything about it I’d probably be in the same position as you 💔💔

This isn’t the way to escape from the people accusing you of shitting the bed bro don’t do it 💔💔

Had to share this from twitter just because

Jail for one billion years for shitting the bed

Your child shit the bed during your visit…. I want my security deposit back 😡🤬

Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything FLOWER MOUND, TX—Condemning the “woke left” for what he called the “modern evisceration of masculinity,” local conservative man Hank Daniels confirmed Monday that he was never going to stop being prou...

Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything

Breaking: The Darkness Returns WASHINGTON—With deep unease and outright horror haunting millions of Americans as a great shroud enveloped the land, late-breaking reports confirmed Monday that the darkness had returned. Bystanders f...

Breaking: The Darkness Returns

ICE Agent, 7-Year-Old Both Wearing Same ‘Military Commando’ Halloween Costume

ICE Agent, 7-Year-Old Both Wearing Same ‘Military Commando’ Halloween Costume

Tis a feat few have accomplished, I wish you good luck

Jean_sexy

🎥Secret videosXXX.mp4 [720P]

I love how it doesn’t give you the option to close anymore it’s trying to force you to open it in order to see kinda funny hell hotel show

Trump Defends Demolition Of Yggdrasil, Ancient Tree Of Life

Trump Defends Demolition Of Yggdrasil, Ancient Tree Of Life https://theonion.com/trump-defends-demolition-of-yggdrasil-ancient-tree-of-life/

Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla

Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla https://theonion.com/man-dies-after-secret-4-year-battle-with-gorilla-1819571099/

Pedro Pascal at an outdoor protest holds a bright red and yellow sign that reads “NO KINGS ONLY QUEENS” with a black-and-white photo of Divine and Trump. Pascalis wearing glasses and a yellow T-shirt, pursing their lips playfully while pointing at the sign. They stand among a crowd of people holding various protest signs; the scene appears to be in a city street on a sunny day.

Pedro Pascal was spotted at the LA No Kings protest with the best sign there.

‘Thank You For That Question,’ Responds Eric Adams To Swarm Of Rats He Forced To Act Out Debate

‘Thank You For That Question,’ Responds Eric Adams To Swarm Of Rats He Forced To Act Out Debate https://theonion.com/thank-you-for-that-question-responds-eric-adams-to-swarm-of-rats-he-forced-to-act-out-debate/

‘I love Hitler’: Leaked messages expose Young Republicans’ racist chat Thousands of private messages reveal young GOP leaders joking about gas chambers, slavery and rape.

"why do you keep calling us Nazis?"

Because you're Nazis.

www.politico.com/news/2025/10...

Aaron Rodgers Suffers Torn Cerebellum After Attempting Telepathic Audible

Aaron Rodgers Suffers Torn Cerebellum After Attempting Telepathic Audible https://theonion.com/aaron-rodgers-suffers-torn-cerebellum-after-attempting-telepathic-audible/

U.S. Military Carries Out Strike On Scuffy The Tugboat Pentagon Claims Little Red Vessel Working With ‘Narco-Terrorists’

U.S. Military Carries Out Strike On Scuffy The Tugboat https://theonion.com/u-s-military-carries-out-strike-on-scuffy-the-tugboat/

Dickhead In Sanchez Jersey Turns Out To Be Mark Sanchez

Dickhead In Sanchez Jersey Turns Out To Be Mark Sanchez

Fuck it, I'll run for President of Ireland at this point. Let's Drift into a brighter future. Let's have a gamer President. Vote Drift King

Al poses with Elijah Wood

Always wonderful to bump into my old friend Daniel Radcliffe!

Release the Epstein Files

Limbless, Slippery RFK Jr.: ‘Becoming An Eel Is A Sign Of Good Health’

Limbless, Slippery RFK Jr.: ‘Becoming An Eel Is A Sign Of Good Health’ https://theonion.com/limbless-slippery-rfk-jr-becoming-an-eel-is-a-sign-of-good-health/

Talk Of Fascism Dangerous, Warns Ministry Of Compliance

Talk Of Fascism Dangerous, Warns Ministry Of Compliance

Was heading down the street. Person on the path stopped, pointed and screamed "IS THAT THE MAN THEY USED TO CALL THE DRIFT KING BACK IN COLLEGE??". I drifted over them with my car. Feeling good

Northern lights ✧˖°.