Edward, Conclave Exile

all cereal should be required to have lore

A newspaper full page ad with a brightly colored burst of exploding powder, Adobe logo in the corner, copy reading “experience the magic of buying new software every month forever”

Print edition @theonion.com ads don’t miss

For those interested, the cult is the Science of Identity Foundation (like scientology, they love pretending they are a science and not religious weirdos)

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...

Me randomly: "YEAH FUCK CORN!"

Intercom: "Sir this is a Wendys..."

@eliotetc.bsky.social @rickyftw.bsky.social

Local CEO caught CHEATING at Phillies game?!

I cannot for the life of me remember who it was who randomly suggested trying the new Beyblade X many months ago when I was getting fatigued of MtG. But...I'm sorry I ever doubted you...It's so different now. I love it...

If you were too young in 2003 here is what Bush told the American people:

1) The Iraq War won’t cost a lot of money
3) We won’t need a lot of troops
4) We’ll bring peace and freedom to Iraq
5) We’ll find WMDs
6) We’ll be welcomed as liberators
7) It will be easy
8) It won’t take long

All lies.

Handpainted Phelia exuberant Shepard !
NFS
#mtg

Sarah Huckabee Sanders was once politely asked to leave a restaurant and it generated 100x as much handwringing from the media as this will

"I know we made healthcare a luxury that more people can't afford, but what about if we just keep making shitty ways for you to half-ass seeing a doctor for real from the comfort of your own home!"

Vatican Coroner Confirms Eucharistic Overdose VATICAN CITY—In a stunning discovery that revealed the full extent of the pontiff’s addiction, Vatican coroner Fernando Ruini released a report Thursday confirming Pope Francis died of a eucharistic overdose. “Our autopsy found the Holy Father had a substantial amount of Eucharist in his system— roughly four times the legal limit—at the time of death,” […]

“Our autopsy found the Holy Father had a substantial amount of Eucharist in his system— roughly four times the legal limit—at the time of death,” said Fernando Ruini
theonion.com/vatican...

Gross: The GOP is planning $5.3 TRILLION in tax cuts for their Sugar Daddy donors.

And WE are going to PAY for them through tariffs and cuts to our healthcare. #MAGABlowingYourTaxes

A woman asks her friend "Hey Shirley, whatcha up to?" Shirley replies "meeting a polycule I matched with on one of the freak apps." A rumbling is heard in this distance as well as a faint "na na na na na". The first woman look nervous. She turns around to reveal the polycule is a massive katamari of human bodies. The music in the background boom NA NAAAA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA KATAMARI DAMACY." One of the polycule members points to his mask and says to Shirley "uh... you're not wearing a mask. You said you were COVID conscious."

anyone who is acting like the US and el salvadore simply accidently deported the wrong people and can’t find them is lying because they don’t want to admit they rather like that fascistic deporting of political enemies into death camps is essentially legal now

important context about the concentration camps in el salvador:

cryptocurrency in 2025 is insane to me because there are rugpulls every other day, more and more every year. you’d think people wouldn’t keep falling for it at a rate more than a baby falls for peek-a-boo

A Caroll diagram consisting of four rectangles arranged in a square. The Y axis is labelled MOVE and split into FAST and SLOW. The X axis is labelled THINGS and split into BREAK and FIX Top left image: (Move Fast and Break Things) Tech Bro Bottom left image: (Move slow and break things) Runaway Steamroller Top right image: (Move fast and fix things) Emergency Plumber Bottom left image: (Move slow and fix things) Grandpa with a toolbox

My cartoon for this week's @newscientist.com

there is simply no amount of child death that will move RFK to change his mind because he is a predatory narcissist who cares less about health than the gratification of his own ego

These fuckers definitely had to redo whole assignments because they didn't save something

Immigrant women describe 'hell on earth' in ICE detention No shower for days, cameras trained on the toilet, women crammed into cells 'like sardines,' among the allegations.

3 dead so far at Krome ICE detention center in Florida. Max capacity was 500, they have over 4,000 and not enough water and food. Reports say they get 1 cup of water per day.

These are already death camps.

eu.usatoday.com/story/news/n...

english.elpais.com/usa/2025-04-...

Alter sale!!
First time I've offered all my fullart alters! They are all hand painted and 1 of a kind!
Asking $65 each shipped!
DM to purchase!

Ok i need this absolutely

🔥 @ninajankowicz.com: "Mr Taibbi said when he was first searching through the so-called Twitter files he didn't know what he was looking at. Well, he still doesn't. Everything looks like a conspiracy when you don't know how anything works."