Chris Nelson

@willaverill.bsky.social reveals A View to a Kill is the official firefighter’s anthem, and was written about Stefan’s dad!

I didn’t win a Super Bowl but I did do this, who wants to touch me?

Norwich, why are your streets running thick with felonious horniness? Also, @willaverill.bsky.social goes to war against Head and Shoulders

If Sadie Sink is playing Jean Grey in Spider-man: Brand New Day, I hope they recreate this scene

Time travel checklist: 1) kill Hitler, 2) go to an opium den, 3) bottle and sell Jesus’s wine

Also, super alert listeners may notice I was too stoned to remember which team is representing the NFC in the Super Bowl, but all of the analysis stands!

It’s 3pm on a Wednesday, which means the haberdasher is in church

I spent the last year writing a book about the ridiculous demands of what it means to be masculine. But a guy who takes care of people who served our country, asks a woman “are you ok?” When she is in distress and looks out for his vulnerable neighbors seems like a pretty good role model for a man.

YouGov is out with a new poll after ICE killed another person in Minnesota today. Abolishing ICE is now +5 among all adults, and **+12 among independents**

substack.com/@gelliottmor...

You have to read this. Firsthand affidavit from one of the women who was there and recording the video. She talks about how Alex Pretti was directing traffic when she arrived. She watched him be killed in front of her. She's afraid to go home, worried she'll be arrested.

We have reached the point where a judge literally has to order federal law enforcement officials not to destroy or mess with evidence from a homicide scene.

They have not earned the benefit of the doubt.

DHS has been caught in too many lies. Don’t believe anything they say without receipts.

Liam is an innocent bystander. His family is not undocumented.

The Public Schools Superintendent says ICE used the boy as bait. I know who I believe.

Wasting their lives, everyone knows JFK was a robot

youtu.be/K7y2xPucnAo?...

I thought they smelled bad on the outside.

Release the butthole cut, George Lucas!

Try to cultivate a sense of childlike whimsy, nyt spelling bee

Damn McSweeney's always has one loaded in the chamber 🤌

Literally everyone who even vaguely knew what a tariff was said this when they were introduced! You don’t need a team of economists to analyze the situation — no one who lives in reality was confused by this!

I will 100% guarantee that the decision not to investigate is coming from Stephen Miller. Rationally, doing even a superficial investigation and “clearing” Ross would help them. But for Miller, that would be acknowledging the existence of constraints on his power

We are watching one of the wildest things a nation-state has ever done: A superpower is committing suicide because the GOP Congress is too cowardly to stand up to the Mad King.

This is one of the wildest moments in all of geopolitics ever.

Herpes is a bad brand partner

Dogs and cats, living with people, mass hysteria!

Chekov’s gun vs Nabokov’s cat

Being from the future is no excuse to be a creep

That’s how they Clockwork Orange these printers into Terminators!
For real, if you listen to 1 episode of anything this holiday season, it should be this. @willaverill.bsky.social & I capture the essence of what these joyous times really mean, & how their light reflects in every human soul.

This is precisely how fascism works, by grabbing at and taking away a little more freedom whenever events lend themselves to it. Bit by bit you lose your rights, until you turn around and realize the road you're on has been long, and democracy is well behind you over the horizon.

@Sec_Noem on X: The Brown University shooter, Claudio Manuel Neves Valente entered the United States through the diversity lottery immigrant visa program (DV1) in 2017 and was granted a green card. This heinous individual should never have been allowed in our country.  In 2017, President Trump fought to end this program, following the devastating NYC truck ramming by an ISIS terrorist, who entered under the DV1 program, and murdered eight people.  At President Trump’s direction, I am immediately directing USCIS to pause the DV1 program to ensure no more Americans are harmed by this disastrous program. 18 Dec 25

@Southcom on X: On Dec. 18, at the direction of @SecWar Pete Hegseth, Joint Task Force Southern Spear conducted lethal kinetic strikes on two vessels operated by Designated Terrorist Organizations in international waters. Intelligence confirmed that the vessels were transiting along known narco-trafficking routes in the Eastern Pacific and were engaged in narco-trafficking operations. A total of five male narco-terrorists were killed during these actions - three in the first vessel and two in the second vessel. No U.S. military forces were harmed. #OpSouthernSpear 18 Dec 25

Noem is using the Brown University shooter to end an entire visa program, but it should be noted that Pete Hegseth, just today, murdered more than twice as many people

Legally, @willaverill.bsky.social wants to know if it’s still kidnapping if you only take them to get ice cream

Willie the Malshi sitting at the booth looking at his orders of chicken and lettuce

Itemized check including one order “Chicken for Willy”

“They know me here”

Sexy fact: @willaverill.bsky.social was a Bad Santa who learned the hard way not to work that Santa ass too close to the sun, no matter how much the ladies love it. But, your honor, it was only a Quarter-Kravitz! Nary the whisper of a genital ever broke containment.