Chatting With The Lightkeeper

BDSM In Victorian England: Vanilla Books And Kinky Characters? - Chatting With The Lightkeeper Could you be “kinky” in Victorian England? Yes, you could be; it is actually documented, and it is far more fascinating than you expect.

Would My Lady care to accompany me to a #spanking club?

That invitation might have been whispered in #Victorian England as it contained a secret world of underground desires.

Discover this side of Victorians in this week's #Fetish Friday:
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/victorian-fe... #BDSM

#Dominants are normal humans, just like anyone & here are a few reminders to cut through the myths:

-They can/will say no
-Have/maintain their limits & boundaries
-Are not perpetually horny
-May be firm, gentle, or a combination
-Will make mistakes
-Need attention
-Have emotions

#BDSM #D/S

The Lighthouses Remember - Chatting With The Lightkeeper The Edmund Fitzgerald was an ore freighter, the biggest on the lakes when she launched and this poem is to honor those lost in its sinking.

Wordsmith Wednesday is taking a sick day, Norovirus had other plans for me. But Monday’s #poem still deserves the spotlight, catch it on my site if you missed it. #poetry
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/lighthouses-...

Ethical D/S: Not What the Movies Taught You - Chatting With The Lightkeeper The movies have been feeding everyone a load of nonsense about dominance for decades. Hollywood needs drama that translates on screen, so they give us dominants who yell and posture and treat every in...

Have you noticed how some watch a #BDSM movie and start acting like a movie star #dom?

Instantly it becomes 50 shades of drama, noise, and popcorn crumbs and this Monday Minute draws the line between the silver screen and ethical #dominance.
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/ethical-movi...

One of the greatest things a #dominant can do for their #submissive is to silence their mind by creating a place where they can let go of the cares of the world and simply be. #bdsm #d/s

Why Do People Have Fetishes? The Science Behind Them - Chatting With The Lightkeeper Why do some people get turned on by leather while others could not care less? Why does the sight of a specific type of shoe send one person's pulse racing while leaving another completely unmoved? It ...

Almost half of people report having a #fetish, but have you ever wondered where they come from? This Fetish Friday examines the reasons behind them using research, not opinion polls, yeah science!

Find out what might be behind yours. #BDSM #D/S
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/why-do-fet-f...

a man is hugging a woman on the beach ALT: a man is hugging a woman on the beach

Sometimes in this world of #kinks, #fetishes, and casual #sex, great conversations can feel like a new way to make love.

Some say “I want you” and others “I need you”.

This Wordsmith Wednesday’s #poem explores choice.

Would you rather be #wanted, #needed, or #chosen? #poetry
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/choose-words...

How to Keep Your D/S Relationship Strong When Life Gets Chaotic - Chatting With The Lightkeeper Finding ways to maintain your D/S relationship when life feels overwhelming, can feel impossible but this piece is here to help see you through.

Has life ever moved at warp speed for you? Have you ever struggled to manage D/S while at light speed?

This week’s Monday Minute is here to help providing practical ideas on how to manage life and lifestyle. #D/S #BDSM #kinkeducation #BDSMeducation
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/life-balance...

Fetish Wear-ween: The Night You Do Not Have to Wear a Mask - Chatting With The Lightkeeper Happy Fetish Friday, and happy Halloween! Tonight offers something rare: the chance to explore why one night a year grants permission denied every other day, and how people who wear leather, latex, an...

Do you know what is fabulous about #BDSM and Halloween?

Halloween offers a unique opportunity, discover how All Hallows Eve grants permission to step into the daylight. As long as you are not a vampire!

Find out how in this week’s Fet Friday.
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/halloween-fe...

There is nothing wrong with being #kinky or involved in #BDSM.

Never apologize for being yourself.

What is luxury? Coffee in a Styrofoam cup? Rain pouring in through an open car window? A haunting, relentless ghost brought on by song? #poem #poetry

This Wordsmith Wednesday’s verse strips the shine off luxury
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/luxury-words...

YouTube video by Chatting With The Lightkeeper In BDSM and Kink You've Gotta Tell’m What You Really Want S.4 Episode 22 #alternativelifestyle

What do the Spice Girls and #BDSM have in common? Find out in the new episode of the Chatting With The Lightkeeper podcast and discover just how common what we call uncommon actually is.

Available wherever you get your #podcasts or tap the link to watch it on YouTube.
youtu.be/RpliNjxztqY?...

The Quiet Dominant: Why D/S Does Not Require Extroversion - Chatting With The Lightkeeper People assume dominance must be loud, impossible to ignore, and full of spectacle. Movies, porn, and corporate culture have hammered that image into the collective imagination. Dominance, in D/S, is o...

Ever wonder why dominance is assumed to be loud and impossible to ignore?

This Monday Minute explains how it can be the opposite. Learn how these myths can distort authentic dominance. #bdsm #d/s #kinkeducation
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/quiet-domina...

Foot Fetishes A Soleful Adventure - Chatting With The Lightkeeper 47% of people have a foot fetish, so why does it feel taboo? From ancient China to your bedroom discover why feet, for some, are so damn hot.

Ready for a soleful adventure?

Almost half of people have a foot fetish, so why is something this common treated like a secret?

The week’s Fetish Friday will not step on your toes, so walk on over & see what all the fuss is about. #bdsm #fetish
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/foot-fet-fri...

You can be an amazing submissive & still:

- Say no
- Prioritize your needs
- Express your wants
- Disagree
- Address harmful behavior
- Walk away from bad behavior
- Trust your instincts
- Take breaks when needed
- Set/keep boundaries
- Maintain your independence

What would you add? #BDSM

The Escape - Chatting With The Lightkeeper This poem for Wordsmith Wednesday examines life in a small town and what it takes to escape from that same place.

Every try to leave a place or person that never let you go?

Some refuse to say goodbye and this Wordsmith Wednesday returns with The Escape. A #poem about leaving and what still follows. #poetry #wordsmithwednesday
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/escape-words...

Chip carting with Jessy at pony camp Denmark. Taken at sunset.

What better way to end the day than working out all the energy you have left in carting before turning in for the stables?
W/ @jessdegey.bsky.social

Photo by @raymond.fee.sh

#Latex #Ponyplay #Petplay #Kink

Trust Your Gut in BDSM - Chatting With The Lightkeeper A sense of unease is impossible to ignore once it arrives. You meet someone in the community, ask questions, check references, and everything looks fine. Still, something twists in your stomach, subtl...

When you meet someone new, what do you trust more, Google or your gut?

This week’s Monday Minute explores why we need to trust our instincts in #BDSM as well as #vetting. Find out what your intuition knows before your search bar does.
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/trust-your-g...

Why Threesomes, Foursomes, and Group Sex Is So Compelling - Chatting With The Lightkeeper Nearly everyone has fantasized about multiple partners, yet we treat it like a shameful secret. Discover why this desire is so powerful.

Are you one of the 89% with this fantasy?

This is not some number concocted by a sex toy company. Real research backs it up! #sex #bdsm #alternativelifestyle

This week’s Fetish Friday looks at this surprising stat.
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/group-fet-fr...

It's important in #BDSM to not be shy about one's desires. This is especially true for submissives. It is perfectly okay to ask for the pleasure you want, need, & crave. Dominants are not mind readers.

So no matter your role, do not be timid about asking for those kinktastic things that you want.

Small towns like to believe they do not have city problems, but no place is too small for injustice to take root. #poem #poetry

This week’s Wordsmith Wednesday looks closer at that truth & while the verse may sound modern, its echo is 55 years old.
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/buried-drawe...

How did you discover #BDSM?

My story began with an ancient Roman historian, a taco craving, & a healthy dose of naivety. Then came the moment I ran into a professor at what seemed like the wrong place (a porn store) at the wrong time.

Just search ChattingWithTheLightkeeper where you get your pods

ADHD in D/S: Challenges and Solutions - Chatting With The Lightkeeper Whether you have ADHD, care about someone who does, or just want to understand more about it and D/S, this article will help.

DHD in #D/S can bring both challenges & surprises.

Whether you have ADHD, care about someone who does, or just want to learn more.

This Monday Minute can help with insights and strategies.
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/adhd-ds

a lighthouse in the middle of a body of water at sunset ALT: a lighthouse in the middle of a body of water at sunset

Dominants, be your submissive's beacon, guiding them through the storms of life and into the sanctuary of the safe harbor that is your loving arms. #BDSM #D/S

Fun Fetish Facts: What the Statistics Actually Say - Chatting With The Lightkeeper Welcome back to another Fetish Friday, where the statistics tell stories that most people never hear whispered in polite conversation, and where the numbers reveal that human sexuality contains far mo...

What #fetish gets searched over 1,300 times an hour?
This week's Fetish Friday breaks down the numbers behind kinks & fetishes. What do the statistics tell us about the desires that society pretends do not exist?
This is not a boring stats lecture!
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/facts-fet-fr...

Dominants, do you want your submissive to open up and be vulnerable with you?

Try opening up and being vulnerable to them and watch what grows out of that.
#D/S #BDSM

Spanking A Love Language - Chatting With The Lightkeeper Can a spanking be a love language? The latest poem in the Wordsmith Wednesday series explores how a rhythmic exchange of sensation becomes a profound dialogue of desire, trust, and connection within a...

Do you know the five love languages? Can #spanking be a love language? #BDSM #D/S #poem

Wordsmith Wednesday takes poetic license and asks that spanktastic question! Discover for yourself in this week’s verse.
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/spank-wordsm...

There is nothing wrong with you, including your attraction to #BDSM. Your interests do not define you; they are a part of your journey.

You are not broken. Accept yourself & engage with your desires confidently. Your path is valid, & there is strength in understanding who you are & what you seek.

BDSM Before the Digital Age - Chatting With The Lightkeeper Kink has always existed, even when society tried to erase it. Long before online communities, people found secret ways to explore BDSM, dominance and submission, and erotic curiosity. Hidden clubs, co...

Did you know #BDSM existed before the internet? Even when societies tried to erase it?

This week’s Monday Minute explores kink before the internet & this is no ordinary history lesson, it is kinktastic!

See how BDSM evolved into what it is today.
www.chattingwiththelightkeeper.com/kink-before-...