alan

Just taking my birth certificate with me on the big shop in case I need a piss in the Asda customer toilet and the toilet bouncer doesn't like the shape of my skull

as i get older i definitely feel the need to improve my general flexibility and core strength! pilates appeals to me more than yoga, but we’ll see. Tomorrow is just a 1 to 1 taster session.

i’m trying pilates for the first time tomorrow! looking forward to immediately having a core of steel instead of being like one of those balloon guys that floats outside used car showrooms in America

Just today I asked a male (!!!!!!) shop assistant in Boots about maternity pads. This level of proposed segregation by sex is truly Victorian in its morality and moral panic.

JK Rowling calls for Marks & Spencer boycott amid hysteria over 'trans' employee JK Rowling has called for a boycott of M&S after a customer complained an allegedly trans employee approached herself and her daughter.

jesus fucking christ, these people. Future generations will rake this lot through the fucking mud and rightly so.

www.thepinknews.com/2025/08/06/j...

TERFS not only want trans women banned from sport, they now evidently also want them not to be able to hold down a job. Their goal is, in fact, systematic marginalisation of a minority population. Rendering them invisible and ideally, not existing at all.

there is actually an “extreme conditions” ikea lab in new york, where they test how hard it is to assemble the furniture in any given circumstance.

they say that if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.

hey i just met you
and you’re a white whale
so here’s my number
and call me ishmail

my legs are knackered

did my longest run yet last night - 15k! felt brilliant running over the tops at Kirk Edge Road, gorgeous scenery

Chloe Kelly striking a pose

.

(they did play Hey Jane though, and hearing that live was pretty much a life highlight for me)

i also saw Spiritualized, who i love but had never seen before. Loved their total anti-social, un-festival energy: no we won’t talk to the audience, no we won’t play our best known songs, no Jason Pierce won’t even face the crowd, we’ll just play our music and leave. Crotchety sods 🤣

it was my fifth time seeing Pulp and they were, as always, just great - Jarvis as dry and charismatic as ever, and they have such a huge back catalogue of bangers. i especially liked that they played Sheffield: Sex City

couple of pics from tramlines this weekend

if i spot you from afar i will alert you with the secret signal (the secret signal is me yelling RICHARD HAMMOND!)

BOOKMARKED 👍 (🤘)

Kinship IOTUNN · Album · 2024 · 8 songs

i'm enjoying a bit of metal at the moment and i have to say that this album from last year is PHENOMENAL

open.spotify.com/album/0ytACQ...

it’s the Tramlines festival this weekend - just down the street from my house 😁

ugh, two exclamation marks in two sentences. i would like to apologise humbly, deeply and sincerely

i could hear Pulp soundchecking from my house this afternoon! looking forward to seeing them tomorrow evening (and Spiritualized too!)

Holy shit, not the BBC News now. Watching all this happening is like witnessing a media version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

In a stunning moment of erotic fervour, calculator demands BOOBS.

currently listening to last year’s album by Geordie Greep because i’m going see that weird little guy live tonight!

thank you so much ❤️

(poem is by Laura Gilpin)

i have got a new tattoo! in reference to this beautiful poem (and in commemoration of the recent sad events). My wife and i both got it, matching.

"From hell's heart I stab at thee!"
🎵 here in
🎵 Duck Berg

did i just hear Jonathan Pearce quoting Springsteen’s “Darkness on the Edge of Town” in the run up to Norway v Italy in the women’s Euros??

my pomes have arrived! @hannahkateboast.bsky.social