Doc with ADHD

The problem with having ADHD and anxiety is that I pick up the smallest vibes, and usually I’m right about what I’m feeling to a point where I feel nearly prophetical, but it also sends me into a spiral of anxious thoughts until the thing happens that I’ve felt before.

…und dem Beruf aufreiben und irgendwann erschöpft im Burnout landen.

Da ist dann jemand der zerstreute Professor, für den Ehefrau und Sekretärin alles managen, die Fehler ausbügeln, mit „dran denken“. Wo jemand dann vielleicht als leicht seltsam, aber auch als Genie wahrgenommen wird. Während die ADHS Frauen in der klassischen Rollenverteilung sich in der Familie…

Absolut!
Und… meinem persönlichen Erleben nach haben neurodivergente Männer, die das Glück haben, intelligent zu sein und einen guten Schul-/Studienabschluss zu haben, dann relativ rasch im Berufsleben und auch Privatleben andere Menschen (Frauen) um sich, die ganz viel für sie kompensieren.

this!!!
sehens-/hörenswert! 🫶

…weekends when I have time and energy to do it and when my partner is there. So I struggled with my solo worknight meals, often going for convenience or buying take-out. These times are gone and I even don’t have to clean a pot! 2/2

#ADHD Getting an Airfryer has revolutionized my cooking during solo work-nights, I just throw together some carbs, veggies, plant protein or cheese on a sheet, mix it with spices and some olive oil and then I can go do whatever and it always turns out good!
I love cooking, but only on the… 1/

Screenshot from a Komoot hike. You can see we walked in a huge circle because we missed going left while chatting away.

3 Women with ADHD go on a hike together, pictured:

Lustig, dass die Person nicht merkt, dass „RECHNUNG SOFORT BEIM AUSPACKEN DES PAKETS BEZAHLEN“ eine typische ADHS Coping Strategie darstellt, die aber im Gegensatz zu „normalen“ 🙄 Menschen dem ADHSler wahnsinnig viel Energie kostet…

…“rich people coping strategy“. 🫣 Well, I recently bought iron& board and can confirm that my brain still doesn’t manage to see enough dopamine in it, even with some Elvanse left in the bloodstream. But at least I‘m able to do some „last minute should’ve left 5 min ago“-ironing again. 🤷🏻‍♀️ #ADHD

#ADHD confession: I hate ironing and haven’t had an iron & board for the last three years. I lived with wrinkled clothing, synthetic clothing that doesn’t wrinkle easily (but is bad for the environment) and, for formal occasions, I often just bought new stuff, what my bf just called… 1/

Ich bin manchmal ein bisschen traurig drüber, dass ich „ungeoutet“ lebe. 🥺 Habe aber das Gefühl, dass in meinem Umfeld das Stigma und die Vorurteile zu groß wären.

I managed to do something in 5 hours that should have taken me 1 hour. But at least I persisted.

For the record, what I had to do wasn’t complicated at all. But it was a low-dopamine task, embedded in something that will still take A LOT of work, and altogether is something that genuinely triggers my anxiety, so it was a typical task people with #ADHD find hard. And boy, it was hard.

I tried writing for a conference paper presentation today without my medication. It was absolutely horrible. Sometimes I feel like an imposter, questioning myself whether the diagnosis is real, because I sometimes do get stuff done. Well, today showed me the what and why pretty clearly.

Ich habe heute das Generikum genommen und merke keinen Unterschied, ich hatte aber tatsächlich sonst immer 30/35mg Elvanse und die 40mg von ratiopharm wirken jetzt nicht viel stärker. Sie haben auch kleinere Packungsgrößen, damit kann man es ausprobieren. 😊

Foto von einer weißen Medikamentenpackung mit blauen Details für Lisdexamfetamin 40 mg

Da gibt’s doch was von ratiopharm…

Für mich ist die Grosspackung eine echte Erleichterung, weil diese mir mehr als 6 Monate reicht und ich somit nicht so oft ein Rezept holen muss. Günstiger ist es auch. 1,85 Euro pro Tablette statt knapp 3 Euro beim Original.

#ADHS

I realized that maybe, if I were properly diagnosed as a child, if I had access to medication then, maybe it would have been possible for me to have a real connection with my grandparents. Maybe it wouldn’t have felt that way and this is making me sad today. 6/6

…spent her last years. I tried to remember some of my grandparents stories and felt that I didn’t ask the right questions while they were still alive. All while feeling guilty that I didn’t do better.
Today, I was patiently listening to a lovely elderly patient and a sudden thought hit me.
5/

All of them have passed a few years ago and in the beginning, a part of me was relieved that I wouldn’t have to pay these visits anymore.
Over the years, I started to miss them. I saw my grandparents in my parents and aunts, who are now becoming elderly as well. I wondered how the neighbor had.. 4/

I visited once or twice a year, talked too much about me instead of asking questions and stuffed myself with food until my belly hurt (which, I have to admit , is nothing unusual being at your grandparents). I didn’t ask questions because I dreaded the detailed and long winded answers.
3/

And of course, as an adult, I didn’t really keep touch as the mere thought of visiting them filled me with this well-known feeling of inner restlessness while my Grannies were fumbling for words and the cuckoo clock seemed to tick slower with every minute.

And of course, I felt guilty about it. 2/

#ADHD
I had two grandmothers and also an elderly neighbor who showered me with affection and was like a third grandmother. And although all of them were super lovely, I couldn’t stand sitting with them, listening to them, having to spend time with them in their slower thoughts and habits. 1/

It’s kind of funny to see people on LinkedIn humblebragging, talking about their „team“, being „excited and honored“, who you got to know as highly unprofessional, choleric and clinically incompetent in real life. And they are being hyped up by near strangers who’ve never worked with them.

…mir hätte mit einer ordentlichen Diagnostik, Therapie und Medikation so viel besser geholfen werden können, als einen Vater zu haben, der sagt: „Du hast ADHS, du bist da genau wie ich. Das ist ein Zeichen von großer Intelligenz und verwächst sich.“

Meine Eltern wissen bis heute nicht, dass ihre 1er Abiturientin mit Doktortitel ein heimliches Leben voller Unruhe und Angst gelebt hat, mit massiven Selbstzweifeln, zerbrochenen Beziehungen, auf der Suche nach dem nächsten Kick mit einer Menge gefährlicher Situationen- mit Männern, im Auto…

Aber warum bist du der Meinung, dass du es entscheiden kannst, wer von deinen Kindern - wenn beide ADHS haben - das Medikament ausprobieren darf? Ich selber war in der Situation, dass mein Vater selber Spezialist für ADHS ist u. der Meinung war, ich bräuchte keine Therapie, Medikamente, „käme klar.

Thank you for sharing your experience! I take my medication only 2-3 times a week and I have been feeling the same of what you have put so excellently in words. I feel I have reached a much better basic mental stability even on non-medicated days.

Du hast es ~*manifestiert*~ würden jetzt irgendwelche Instagram Schwurbel Lifecoaches sagen. 💫😌

…how deep these self-deprecating thoughts sit after >35 yrs of stuff like this happening all the time.

It’s also important to know that the diagnosis itself, therapy and even medication won’t prevent #ADHD accidents from happening. ADHD doesn’t „go away“. I can only change how I deal with it. 2/2