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not running from my problems, but making tactical retreats while pulling a tripwire taught behind me

Seeing people get up to nonsense like this - like not to get all corny, but honest to God - reminds me that people are worth fighting for lmao.

if ur trans u always serve 🫶🏳️‍⚧️

can’t even get a third of a workout in without risking lasting damage. im gonna diy some new braces and see if i can’t force my joints to stop dislocating. fucking tendons man. my hip is playing my connective tissues like a harp

we were aware that getting ill would cause another flare up and potentially progress my symptoms. that doesn’t mean we’re thrilled that our meat has turned to liquid goo and is dissolving our bones slowly. very annoying and inconvenient to my plots and ploys

✨🌈 The more you know 🌈✨

LOVE AND PEACE ON EARTH I DIDN'T HAVE TO

I Do Not Want To Drive The Party To This Event.

like at a certain point im like. it's very obvious what drives my escapist tendencies. and i am communicating openly and often. what's a man to do when nobody cares that he's being taken advantage of and taken for granted

definitely mean To You when i get my feelings hurt after enduring a series of unsolicited criticisms. i did not ask but it is certainly my fault that i am not perfectly humorous and amicable while i am being insulted and told i am not allowed to participate in the outing but am required to attend

just don't get to participate. ok now that im grappling with that, yeah why not just start laying into me about my tone and then critiquing everything about my physical appearance. that's fair and kind. it's definitely unreasonable when i ask for five minutes to cope with being dragged. it's

yeah, sure, let's tell me that in the five minutes before we leave. that im going to be driving us to the venue and that im the one who's going to be in charge of all that. let's just go ahead and assume that im comfortable and capable of putting in the maximum level of difficulty and that as dd i

like fuck!! take me at my word!!! i make an immense point about never lying specifically so that this major invisible thing in my life is believed when i say it!!! fuck me up!!!

free. something about that never seems to click, and to be fair i can't actually imagine the opposite because my versions of pain free are "low burner" and "in an altered state of consciousness" and neither of those actually properly count, i think. it's just so frustrating not being believed

complaining and noticing and suffering for years, clearly communicating that. like idk if i had a kid who said random bullshit hurt i would simply believe them, idk. idgi how it's confusing to them that i don't react to so much bullshit like. my pain scale is completely skewed, ive never been pain

like. damn maybe it wasn't right that i was asked to swallow pain without showing any sign for years. maybe it's okay that it was difficult and painful from childhood and it never got better like they said it would. that now we have reasons on paper that im in pain so only now is it real. when i was

everyone else fast enough and that's not my job but holy fuck does it feel bad to have so many expectations passively placed on me after years of demonstrating that it's not physically possible to meet those expectations, like, at all. that i injure myself in a lasting way by doing simple shit

like. ok. damn once or twice makes sense, to really understand my limits and see where im coming from when i ask for help. but that's not what's happening here. it's like my requests for help are entirely unheard when it's an act of service and there's something fucky about it and i can't therapize

kitchen alone with a chair trying to navigate between appliances taking way too long to make something way too simple. grinds my gears that they comment so often about how long it takes me. like yes im aware that's in fact why i asked for help. fucks sake. why make me perform this difficulty

forty fucking minutes asking for help and planning scope plus time of the help to be told "well you can get that started" (asked for help at this stage because i CAN'T LOL) or "that should be easy" (no followup, literally none for hours, what does this mean???) like it all ends up the same, in the

before actually accepting that, yeah that activity causes me pain and exhausts me. and it's like. a really tired song and dance because im just out here tanking damage while trying to do basic bullshit and it's a little maddening to be told "oh you could have asked for help" when i spent actually

🖥️ has some kind of river in egypt issue going on or something because for as much progress as we've made in making things accessible around the house, there's a huge disconnect between my daily abilities and the bs he thinks i "should" be able to do. and he'll force me to fail at it multiple times

🌟 is just too tired, i think. he usually puts off all requests until im audibly suffering and only turns them down due to exhaustion. this is easier to navigate bc there's a lot more honesty w boundaries and abilities. i still don't like that my own words aren't believed, but ig that's my own fault

just kinda keep on keeping on, so ill bring it up again and there's like this weird pushback? and it'll be put off until it gets really urgent and dire and im suffering, and unless im doing something to like perform that suffering then they'll continue to act like it isn't happening, even if i tell

and it's really frustrating because like. i asked!! i asked for help watering them while im feeling down and out but it. just didn't happen until i was crying and i still had to hover and supervise. like idk man. both ct just do this thing where ill ask in a way i find clear and direct and they'll

im so fucking frustrated because usually im able to push the standard a bit and pitch the fuck in but it is so fucking frustrating watching shit get disgusting and visibly neglected while im feeling too sick to stand for long, let alone do household labor. i think one of my fucking plants died

im like. DAD YOU FAILED TO RAISE US. im sleeping on the floor and nobody but me changes the tp. it's extremely funny when im not completely sick of the universe's ironic bullfuckery. like we do not vacuum regularly or often, and we don't mop often either. the floors look like a street

like fuck im actually certain that im not the only one with the power to refill the soap dispenser. im certain that it's not exclusively my hands which can carry tp. like there is no reason for this. how the fuck are se going to survive the winter as a household of all men when we act like this

got me fucking started about the fucking chores again because how come every time i have an episode then suddenly magically all the toiletries in the bathroom stop being restocked until im able to do it again when suddenly magically they all reappear 🙄🙄