🦴Orobone🦴

Accommodations will never be enough, there will always be too much going on, no one is going to save me, I'm going to be poor forever, and I get to watch the country decent even further into fascism. Lowkey just feel like cattle lol. Sorry for the doomer affirmations.

Literally, its all just to make us less annoying to deal with and make us fit better into being a slave. Its either chemically numbing or gaslighting yourself but that doesn't get rid of the fact that we'll still suffer with the symptoms especially in a system that doesn't care about mental health.

Also literally everytime somebody is talking just out of my ability to comprehend the words I assume they are talking about me. It always seems like people are laughing at me and congregating and facing my direction while they talk so they can point out everything wrong with me.

Yeah, I am constantly ruminating about how everyone at my job are conspiring to get me fired and I feel unable to form relationships cause I feel like no one has a reason to connect with me. I even have this funny little phrase I say, "they're going to catch me outside and kill me."

Never trust the corpos.

I've been medicated and it was kinda helping but not enough to numb myself as much as they did and of course I fell off on appointments which means they just stop letting you get refills and let you die even though you're clearly mentally suffering.

I have hypomanic like episodes but they don't always fit the criteria for bipolar, I tend to get fully lost in conspiracy theories, I have trouble socializing but never really fit into autism, I'm extremely paranoid, and I am socially isolated even online because I don't trust or understand people.

No, the most I've done is research it, watch some videos of people with it, and looked at the r/schizotypal subreddit lol. I've been diagnosed with bipolar and told I might have bpd but those don't match what is wrong with me.

I've truly had it twice for 2 years each and I just fell behind. I'm incapable of the kind of growth normal people expect and want. I genuinely believe I might have schizotypal personality disorder and I don't know what the fuck to do about that.

Of course I want to stay alive but there is truly nothing here for me. Everyone is programmed, everything is conditional, opportunities will never show up at my doorstep and all I can do is isolate. If theres not going to be anybody to greet me with open arms why even try?

I'm here surrounded by yuri, my comfort streamers, and anti suicide poetry/motivation and just... whats the fucking point? How am I going to prevent my life from falling apart? Do I just start doing drugs again and hope my parents are financially stable enough to save me and hope they accept me?

So many people are more concerned with compatibility with other humans than being themselves.

Of course I gotta tell ny family that I'm a tranny and see if they accept me and don't take away everything they currently provide to me. I'm too retarded to live in this world. I can't save myself. I'm unreliable. If my parents say anything unreasonable and mean they might have as well killed me.

My car is going to fail, my health is going to fail, my pipes are going to fail, my computer is going to fail, the government is going to fail, the economy is going to fail. To me is seems like it is genuinely over. There is nothing left and no dreams to follow. Only suffering remains.

I've become so schizophrenic and scared of the world that I am genuinely about to spend the next year just getting ready to move back in with my family so I can finally have disposable income and be able to afford to live like a normal human being.

If I go through a catastrophic event and lose everything and have to move back in to my parents while going through a period of suffering and I can't do it I will seek out easier options and my parents won't have to house my freeloading tranny ass anymore.

My bug out bag is just going to be a bottle of vodka, a bottle of dayquil, and 5000mg of benedryl. The vodka and dayquil is mostly there to make me fucked up enough to commit to it while also having compound effects.

So many people share this sentiment but the general public will never know cause they are no chronically online. They only get the opportunity to connect to other uneducated, indoctrinated, out of touch normies that uphold their own oppression.

Unfortunately I just do not give a shit about playing into society or these systems which means I am destined for failure unless someone actually decides to dismantle them which will not happen fast enough or in my lifetime and I will get to a point where I have to overdose to escape the pain.

Sorry to the first group though you just haven't deprogrammed enough. You claim to hate the patriarchy but still hold beliefs in the systems they created. I say tear it all down. Everything is connected and intended to kill you if you don't participate. Wake up.

And you have the dirty nasty ugly truecel goonettes that genuinely want to be loved but the patriarchy has made men too evil or made their lesbian crushes comphet. They wanna die, they don't want to work, they were failed by society. They usually actually woke and based instead of delusional.

I like there are divides in every community. Like in the femcel community you have the puritan Christian volcel girls that are 4b cause they hate the patriarchy and men. They dream of being another cog in the machine that does artificial work to keep them busy as slaves of capitalism.

The only real problem we run into is who would represent us? Who is going to do foreign affairs and shit but our president and our congress are a bunch of bumbling fools so we could probably put qualified college educated people in those heavily restricted positions. Like ambassadors and shit.

But representative don't give a fuck about you. I think the only reason Mamdani exists is so he can get praise for being the most based politician that actually is liked by the working class (good problem to have).

I feel like the only time we get an inch to progress its from actual citizens voting directly on an issue. Of course our representatives try to push back on them *cough cough Ohio legalization of recreational Marijuana*

I also believe in direct democracy with one vote per person. Voting for a representative and hoping they do the right thing does not work. The only problem there is we would need to create a culture around it and make sure everyone know it is important to vote and why they vote.

I also would prefer to abolish any system that give any individual person power over the general population especially if it gives them the ability to just make us all dumber through propaganda and controling the media.

The left truly is so divided its actually insane. You have liberals, leftists, and dark woke. I would say I'm dark woke because even some leftist want to police and censor individuals with psychological problems that they can't work on under this system that keeps them trapped and scared.

I love stalking people online and finding out they are based as fuck but they just don't talk about it because nobody wants to deal with the wrath of both conservatives and their purity politics lackies (that unknowingly enforce the same rules on everyone.)

It would be pretty epic to have a loving relationship though. I just wanna be loved. I don't really care that much about how you look. I just want someone who is based and deprogrammed that will love me for who I am and we can get a little kinky if we wanna. Just two ugly bitches getting freaky.