ceci robin

and the "obviously unreal" beliefs aren't quite that, either; the other characteristic trait of StPD is "double bookkeeping" where (speaking for myself) i can keep track of which thoughts of mine aren't acceptable for consensus reality and act accordingly without exactly disbelieving them in private

this is exactly what it's like yeah. i get a lot of that and also always assume everyone remembers everything they've ever seen me do wrong and holds it against me. it is essentially a delusion but it's impossible to separate from reality so it sticks unlike the more obviously unreal ones

tbh i'm a little bit reflexively anti-psychiatry so maybe don't take advice from me about it but i don't see much point in the psychiatric approach to StPD. i think it is mostly about training us to pretend to be getting better

there isn't really a reliable treatment for StPD itself. antidepressants or mood stabilizers can help but do not really treat the condition itself. not getting worse is mainly about recognizing symptoms to live with them instead of letting them get out of hand

that does sound like it (i'm not a doctor though of couse). with the paranoia, is part of it a certainty that people secretly don't like you, even if they say they do, or that they watch, or talk about, or plan to betray you? that paranoid anxiety is especially characteristic of StPD, i get it a lot

have you talked to other schizotypal people much? sorry idk you i just got bored and searched it and saw this and relate a lot

the social paranoia is the one relevant delusion that doesn't go away when the psychosis passes. if i said i didn't earnestly believe that everyone who knows me does or should hate me, i'd be lying

#birdbot

my social skills and, more importantly, my desire for socialization, are just about back to when i was 15. idk what to do about that. i found it rewarding having friends i talked to, when i did, but thinking of trying to maintain so many connections at once again still feels terrifying

not true >:(

series of depressive and mixed episodes, technically. if i still feel good tomorrow that'll be the first time in about a year and a half that i'm euthymic for a week straight

i hate that i have to worry whether unfollowing a friend who posts stuff i don't want to see on my timeline will be seen as rude. i've seen people say "i just mute them" but that's worse in my view?

you know obviously destroying social media entirely would not fix all of the problems it's caused and it'd probably have some downsides too but at least it would mean "the like button wasn't pressed on this post so this relationship must have been abandoned" wasn't a thing

this IS a good reason not to want to be friends with me, since i will likely disappear again. i do not commit to be around in any space long-term. idk how long it will take before im even as comfortable talking to people as i was a year ago, early on in the same episode.

btw i've had to do this before cause it keeps happening but if i stopped talking to you in the past ~year that's cause i had a bad depressive episode and got scared of and stopped talking to everyone i know. i think it's over but this is also the most common period for relapse so im taking it easy

no, they associate instinctive reactions of indignation to basic philosophical questions with creationism

i think the premise that AI is an attempt to create god is just as much a form of basiliskism as that held by the types who literally do want to create god

this is also why, if you talk about CSA in any serious way as a political subject and structural pillar of patriarchy, people who believe CSA is an overblown hysteria will accuse you of promoting "elite pedophile cabal conspiracies," and conspiracy theorists will call you a pedophile.

#birdbot

washington union station has been full of armed national guard every time i've travelled lately. not heavily armed, and they are basically just pacing around the same loud boring stations all day, but it just makes me nervous and not want to travel

You claim to fulfill the false prophecies of the 'Incarnate' and the 'Nerevarine,' but you are really an agent in the pay of the Imperial Intelligence Service. You are an outlaw and a fraud. Yet you have the nerve to ask to join the Temple. Go away.

the worst part of having both anhedonia and autism is when people think you've either got weirdly discerning taste when really its just that most things don't feel like anything

worse is when they think you're a performative hipster because your hyperfixations *do* punch thru the gap

a lot of people feel on a kind of instinctive level that its kind of gauche & unsophisticated, perhaps even inherently reactionary, to talk about CSA & its apologists openly & seriously, to have a political analysis of it as a specific form of structural violence intertwined with gender/race/class

apart from inciting mass shootings (schools in particular) and suicides (of teens in particular) their other main means of action is molesting children, so yeah definitely

even tinier

just sneezed the tiniest sneeze of my life

the cabinet, too, of course

i continue to believe that politicians should be given a generous pension from the day they are sworn in, at the same value as their salary, which should be very high and inflation adjusted

if they take any other money until they are dead they should go to prison and lose their pension

one note for the "optics" amateur consultant crowd: "abolish ice" is actually the calibrated negotiating stalking horse because we actually cannot tolerate a "department of homeland security" in a multicultural secular democracy

thank you so much, i didn't realize! i only don't want to see reposts most of the time, but switching back and forth in settings isn't a big hassle