Jo Usmar

Part two: Jeffrey Epstein – what you actually need to know Hold onto your creepy birthday books, folks. Things have escalated.

Part 2 out now! What you actually need to know about this Jeffrey Epstein horror show – why its catapulted back into the news. Why MAGA is very unhappy. And why “the birthday book” is SO much worse than imagined. I waded through it all so you don’t have to.

jousmar.substack.com/p/jeffrey-ep...

Moments when I found having cancer really funny Sometimes finding laughs in trauma, fear and stress can be the best medicine. (Along with chemo, obvs.)

Turns out, sometimes having cancer is hilarious. My new article is on the unexpected lols that come from cancery ridiculousness. Read or listen below. (Fair warning, my audio recording skids off the tracks big time at the start. Enjoy!)

jousmar.substack.com/p/when-havin...

This was just posted by @tbretc.bsky.social on another platform. The Chicago Sun-Times obviously gets ChatGPT to write a ‘summer reads’ feature almost entirely made up of real authors but completely fake books. What are we coming to?

All the stuff that goes through your mind when receiving feedback on your work The creative ego is a fragile thing.

I'm am so chill about receiving feedback on my work. I certainly don't make up entire defensive conversations in my head or draft pass-agg emails every time. That would be ridiculous.

Memories From The Birth Room Three exclusive stories, shared by three brilliant women ♡

Chuffed to be asked to contribute to a brilliant Substack last week about memories from the birth room. My story is about giving birth in a country when you don't speak the language...and you also have cancer. What a joyride.

charlottemg.substack.com/p/stories-fr...

What does my fascination with serial killers say about me? Yes, I’m one of those women – and I’m okay with it.

What does my obsession with serial killers say about me? "I can’t even imagine trying to work out how many hours I’ve dedicated to investigating serial killers. It probably equates to about half of my life – and I'm okay with that." My new piece is out now:

jousmar.substack.com/p/fascinated...

Coming to terms with looking different I can’t find the mental image I hold of myself in the mirror.

My new piece is about not recognising myself in the mirror, post-baby, post-cancer, post-turning 40. I find myself thinking, “Who the hell is that?” I want to adore my body. It kept my baby alive while fighting a tumour. It’s half my mum, half my dad. How can I be both grateful & disappointed?

The space farce Save most of your scorn for Jeff Bezos, not Katy Perry.

The space farce! My new article! About how our scorn should be directed at Jeff Bezos, not Katy Perry (who’s an easy mark): “A rich man paid for this diverse group of women to go into space while simultaneously undermining their role in the field’s future.”

jousmar.substack.com/p/the-space-...

The agony and the ecstasy of freelancing And how weird it is returning to work after a massive life event.

“If a reliable office job is a smooth-running SUV, then freelancing is a honking, spluttering clown car careening down the street with its bumper hanging off.”

My new article is on the mayhem & magic of freelancing - especially after a massive life event.

jousmar.substack.com/p/the-agony-...

Also bags? Plastic, tote, Ikea, foldaway, etc. I have 100 “just in case” bags. I have bags of bags.

The diary of a top US security official 👊🇺🇸🔥

My new piece offers a sneak peek into the diary of a top US security official:

“Deny. Defend. Deflect. Deny. Defend. Deflect. Deny. Defend. Deflect. Deny. Defend. Deflect.
💪🇺🇸💸🏈🔥🍆”

jousmar.substack.com/p/diary-of-a...

If you ever feel insecure at work or out of your depth, just remind yourself that hey, at least you haven’t revealed state secrets, war plans, and called Europe “PATHETIC” in a group chat that accidentally included a top US journalist. You’re doing fine! 💪🙌

I am obsessed with this Hegseth Signal story. It’s terrifying, yes, but also just sooooooooo embarrassing. Imagine sending emojis in a chat about war. Emojis! 🫠 And calling Europe “PATHETIC” in angry capitals. My stomach is eating itself with cringe.

Pete Hegseth today

Aw, shit. My bad, guys. I thought "VP" in the Signal chat was Vice President, but it was Vladimir Putin.

Goldberg in the Signal chat like

a screenshot of Signal messages: - war secrets tonite 👀 - war secrets tonight queen?? - war secrets tonite 👀

who did this??

Dear Americans, the level of batshittery the rest of the world can take without having a collective heart attack has been reached. Please try to rein it in, yeah? You’re too big to be behaving this badly. Ta, your pals over in Europe.

three panel cartoon by @emilyscartoons.bsky.social … in the first panel one person says "let's not talk about politics any more, I can't bear it" and the other person replies "same." in the second panel, they say nothing. in the third panel, the first person yells "THE THING IS THOUGH" and the second person yells back "THOSE FUCKING IDIOTS"

literally every time I talk to friends

Your dignity honors the bravery of the Ukrainian people.

Be strong, be brave, be fearless.
You are never alone, dear President Zelenskyy.

We will continue working with you for a just and lasting peace.

Ancient air traffic controller: “I can no longer see, but I was great back in the day.” Elon: “As long as you don’t support DE&I that’s good enough for us! Welcome back!”

Having a child is realising that loads of oldie worldie-sounding illnesses exist. Hello, hand, foot and mouth disease!

“I feel like a failure at love” A conversation about bruised hearts.

My latest piece is a convo I had with a friend about how she feels like a failure in love. “How can it be a failure to want to seek love? What is love but consistent, relentless hope?”

jousmar.substack.com/p/failure-at...

Have any other cancer survivors found the whole aftermath-period incredibly weird and hard to deal with – almost more so (well, in a different way), than being smack-bang in the middle of the shitstorm?

#cancer #cancersucks #coloncancer #cancerawareness

A love letter to cities Pump the filth, the beauty, the mess and the magic into my veins.

My love letter to cities: pump that filth, beauty, mess and magic into my veins.

jousmar.substack.com/p/a-love-let...

I should've known it was dangerous posting this when I have so few followers – no one replied & I would've felt like the only idiot at the fool show. However, I also posted it on Instagram and found loads of fellow subscription forgetters, so there! Other people are skint & livid too! Hurray! (?) 🫠

I’ve just discovered 2 subscriptions I forgot about, both expensive & both which I’ve had to continue until the end of the 12 month contract. I know not many people see my posts, but if you do, pls could you tell me you are also paying through the nose for useless shit? Misery loves company. Thanks

Reading has never felt so needed and necessarily than right now. Let me bury my nose in a book, inhale deeply (just me?) and forget about this dumpster fire of a world for a bit.

#booksky #reading #libraries #author #books #escapism

*Posting is currently turned off
😆

I had my last wisdom tooth removed on Tuesday and am appalled by the fact that I’m still in pain four days later. In films people do it with pliers and crack on with their days just fine.