Astrid Johnson

butch trans woman with boyish scrungly bed hair, gold facial piercings. wearing a black tank top which exposes a labrys chest tattoo.

butch trans woman with boyish scrungly bed hair, gold facial piercings. wearing a black tank top which exposes a labrys chest tattoo. drinking from a cup of coffee with hand placed on the back of her neck, elbow outstretched.

my bed head looks cute

i'm really deeply fond of Beautiful Women™

this new job is going to be so good for posting

hey, i've DMd you x

i feel like i have all of this stuff that's happened to me in the last decade that i'm overdue recovery from, and i'm not going to be able to do that here. 2024 is going to be a crunch year, i think. find a job, apply for a master's, hopefully get PIP, move into a "normal" house.

and there's some good about it, right? my nonexistent income is less of an issue, and it's still really easy to see all of my friends and loved ones because it's not too out of the way. but the thing about squatting is that it rarely leaves you feeling well-adjusted.

but now everyone's out of there, it's clearer to me that this is still unstable. there are mice in my room, the only hot water we have is from the shower because it's electric and the boiler is broken, and there's this low-level, non-zero, persistent anxiety of eviction.

maybe not *normal* per se; maybe on the late-night side, definitely with weird transsexuals. but like, something more normal than the squat i'm in right now. having this as an option was exactly what i needed when i needed it, it was much more stable than the warehouse.

i helped some folks from the warehouse move out last week, into normal, safe houses. it took a while. and knowing they were in those normal, safe houses now felt like such a relief. but it made me realise i need to live in a normal, safe house, i think.

i would also like to fuck silly style about ten times more than i currently do

having hope that 2024 will be the year i find stable housing in a safe and comfortable home, consistent and predictable income that i can use to support myself and my loved ones, and the passion and drive to create and study what i love

gay

gay

butch trans woman, grade 6ish hair, red neck scarf, red braces. gold face jewelry, jumper/flannel combo.

butch trans woman, grade 6ish hair, red neck scarf, red braces. gold face jewelry, jumper/flannel combo. cxnty hips.

growing my hair out a little bit again and it's reached the scrungly boy stages where it's fluffy and always a tiny bit unkempt

neither of my parents have used the correct pronouns for me since i got here, seemingly without realising, and i just don't have the emotional strength to correct them at all

oh i'm feeling quite intensely dysphoric actually

my father (this will be a trend) just did a racist indian accent while deliberating over what pieces to play in scrabble

my father, who doesn't know he has autism, just asked me if a word he was using was correct, and when i told him the right version, he made a flat-toned joke about how i should never correct him and that it's never too late to put me over his knee and "give me a bollocking"

my half-niece, who i found out existed a few weeks ago and will be meeting at the family's for christmas, is an antivaxxer in her early twenties who has a baby

i'm a few hours into three days of spending the holidays with my family, so here commences the thread i'll be writing of things that have happened so far that have been making me feel Incredibly Normal™

REVIEW: Image Comic's Geiger: Ground Zero #1 Geoff Johns, Gary Frank and Brad Anderson reunite for an all-new Geiger prequel, from Image Comics and creator-owned imprint Ghost Machine.

check out my review of GEIGER: GROUND ZERO #1 [🌟🌟/5]

Newly-founded Ghost Machine presents a well-constructed but not particularly visually compelling prequel. Some lovely moments in the writing and interesting colours, but holistically a bad starting-point for newcomers
www.cbr.com/geiger-groun...

Michael Haneke's Funny Games but Paul and Peter are replaced with Bert and Ernie

The Exquisite Pain, by TogarE 7 track album

Apparently people have been asking for GoFundMe and PayPal links from all of us. I think if you really want to do something like that for me, you can go listen to my music. I'm working on more right now, and listening to this will help give me a life that I can move on with.

togare.bandcamp.com

Hey. If you're not in the know, it's been shared around on here. I said a bunch of stuff about it on Twitter; I'm locked over there right now, but if you follow me already you can go read it. I'm doing as best I can. Just trying to focus on what I can do to keep myself occupied. Seeing loved ones.

(i can in fact afford to do laundry right now thanks to the kindness of others but it's often a dilemma i face in my life as of late)

if i had to be friends with a guy wearing a mickey mouse hoodie he thrifted for more than what my rent used to be who uses single digits as shorthand for "number of $100 bills" i'd unalive myself all over his wardrobe and the damages would equate to the GDP of a small nation

one of my new favourite hobbies is watching videos by NYC fashion influencers talking about how the $300 plain black torn-up t-shirt they bought was "pretty cheap" while i'm sitting on my bed in the dark in a squat smoking cigarettes figuring out if i can afford to do laundry

i just wish i had a job, dude. pains me to say it, but getting by on crumbs from the job centre and donations from people on the internet while you're struggling to engage creatively in anything and fighting suicidal ideation *because* of your whole life story can't be all that sustainable.

occasionally i give someone my whole life story, and i come out of it thinking i should give myself more credit for what i'm able to achieve on a day-to-day. it's hard to do that when i'm still in such a difficult place in a lot of ways. but i should.

does the right side of my whole back twinge every time i twist it a bit too much? yes

do i feel remorse, now having experienced the consequences of my actions? absolutely not