Democracy of the Dead

Achievement unlocked: Put the baby's sleep sack on while he was sleeping

No, I didn't!

I am slowly making my way through the mega-ton of Sandra Boynton books 😅

Current favorite is the one where a bunch of monsters show up at 6 AM for a birthday party, during which they proceed to wreck the subject's house

Looking for board book suggestions--any recommendations?

Likes:
- classics
- rhythm books with a good sense of meter
- books with diverse characters that aren't about diversity as such (think "Corduroy")

Dislikes:
- books about how much the parent loves the child or vice versa

The baby just BIT MY KNEE

Trust the AI

Realized today that, in preventing me from naming our son after St. Cassian, my husband simultaneously protected me from people assuming I would take baby names from Star Wars

Thought being a homeschool grad would exempt me from seeing the obits of people I went to school with, but a kid from our homeschool group was just shot by the cops after going off his meds and becoming violent. Tragic situation all around

Trying to drink my coffee, but the baby prefers Maximum Physical Contact

This is the dream

So I knew the baby was going nuts at night from teething his top front teeth, but apparently I was wrong in that he is actually getting all four top teeth in at the same time

I've been informed this is unusual. Lucky us 💀

Picked up cookies to celebrate Michaelmas. but actually because it's also National Coffee Day and I wanted the free coffee

The baby has started clapping. Please clap

I would like to defenestrate whatever person decided to size baby clothes in two different ways

Feed the baby solids at 6 months, they said. He'll get iron from the cereal, they said

Unfortunately for people who dole out this kind of advice, my son does not speak English

Non-Lutheran friend texting me in confusion after finding out how many Lutheran schools are named "Concordia"

Evidently my husband and his similarly-obsessed cousin both viewed this as an initiation

Husband now periodically takes baby to gaze at the Great Britain belt he owns and informs baby that "this is your birthright"

Husband says his favorite part of the first day of our baby's life was watching WWE with him on the hospital TV 😶

Throwing your back out while trying to care for a 7 month old: do not recommend 💀

Woke: tearing down statues of Confederates
Bespoke: tearing down statues of Freemasons

Any halfway competent conspiracy theorists should be all over this one. But, alas,,

When your baby is both too awake and too sleepy to let you go, and attempts to latch onto your elbow

My baby is objectively cuter than all the other babies I meet

I'm sure that there is no bias involved in this observation

The husband informed me, after seeing me play harmonica from a distance, that "you looked like you were hitting a vape" 💀

It's...something to see otherwise liberal people decide they want highly processed food to remain as is because they don't like RFK Jr. Normally California is leading the push to clean up this stuff

(Insert caveats about RFK Jr. being an idiot, the problem of greenwashing, etc.)

Had to ILL someone a chapter called "Cultural Manspreading in Doping Environments." Um...wut

My electric kettle survived college and a move, only to be slain by my baby

I assume this will basically be the story of my next 20 years

Had to inform the husband that no, "Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho" did not come from Veggie Tales

People in the Peanut mom app openly admitting to naming their babies Judas and Lilith 💀

The sort of pastors who don't mind endorsing political candidates have been essentially doing it for a long time. I remember one pastor who told us he couldn't endorse a candidate, but that he put a John Kerry sticker someone gave him on the bottom of his shoe

The husband has voted "no" on pesto pasta. but considering pesto's ridiculously short refrigerator life, I'm not overly disappointed