alyssa ✿ ◡̈

screenshot of these multiple choice options in a survey: - I work for a company that could collab with TIAT - I work for a company that should collab with TIAT - I work for a company (derogatory) that probably wont collab with TIAT

petition to popularize the use of "company (derogatory)"

Me sowing (quitting my job and not having to think about work anymore): Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!

Me reaping (having 8 extra hours a day to think about my interpersonal issues, insecurities, grief, and the general state of the world): Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

tame impala dropping new music for the first time in 5 years is like when there's a cicada brood emergence except instead of cicadas it's tame impala fans saying "it's ACTUALLY one guy and you're a loser for referring to him as 'them'"

if you don't pay your bus fare you're a republican sorry I don't make the rules

just overheard someone say "we got Alexander Graham Bell on his phone over here" about a guy blocking the sidewalk looking at his phone

Yellow sign with pink writing that says: MARGARITAS MONDAY [COMMA] AND FRIDAY ALL DAY TUESDAY THRU THURSDAY [COMMA[ 3PM TILL CLOSING COME ON IN AND GET ONE!

MONDAY, AND FRIDAY ALL DAY TUESDAY

THRU THURSDAY, 3PM TILL CLOSING

boomer or youth who absolutely dgaf about work, no in between

the president wont see your cheap dunks against jeffery epstein . But your friends who have ties to state sponsored pedophilia will

It’s the happiest day of Elon Musk’s life because he finally posted something people actually want to read

omg don't you just hate when you spend billions of dollars turning a social media platform into a nazi propaganda machine to help someone win an election and then they still don't want anything to do with you? classic embarrassing moment lol

Musk and Trump fighting is like the political version of happy hour chips and salsa in that it's whetting my appetite for Trump d*ing

OWNING MY ENEMIES BY REVEALING THEY ARE PEDOPHILES AND I HELPED MAKE THEM PRESIDENT ANYWAY

Elon Musk, the genius visionary who could not predict that the guy who has betrayed every person he has ever met would betray him

this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake

do you ever put off doing something for like 6-12 months because you assume it will be really difficult and then finally look up how to do it and it's explained in a 21 second youtube video

Me sowing (drinking multiple drinks w/ espresso in them at 8pm because they taste good): Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!

Me reaping (wide awake at 1am): Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

brat summer is out, "when you’re a ant and you wake up in an awesome mood, about to drive your son to school, only to discover that you left the lights on in the car last night so your battery is drained" summer is so in

my cat has been sleeping all afternoon, woke up and ran around when jeff goldblum and lana del rey showed up on the met gala livestream, then immediately went back to sleep. the boy has taste.

A badly photoshopped “Jason Derulo” falling down the 2025 Met Gala stairs

BREAKING: Jason Derulo has fallen down the stairs at the 2025 Met Gala!

unemployment means having more time to focus on what really matters to me: judging what celebrities wear to the met gala

it's my last day of work

you can’t talk to me that way im a costco member

What if Elon is the first autistic person RFK has ever actually met and that’s why he assumes we don’t pay taxes or go on dates

Twitter post/pohoto from JK Rowling who sits on what looks like yacht, taking a puff of what looks like a cigar. She holds a cocktail close to her face and looks smug as fuck. Text on tweet: I love it when a plan comes together. #SupremeCourt #WomensRights.

Text on screen: our.moral.imperative British billionaire JK Rowling has posted several gloating tweets today after the UK Supreme Court ruled that only 'biological women' legally count as women, excluding trans women from legal protections and safeguards. Rowling's vicious smear campaign against trans people in Britain has been going on for several years now and has played a major role in cultivating the extremely hostile and toxic environment that exists in the country towards trans people, particularly in the name of liberal 'feminism'. @fight_for_a_future @rowllingofficial

You all need to treat Harry Potter IP like we’re treating the Tesla brand.

a tarot reader on tiktok says I'm getting my mojo back AND my spark back so watch out everyone

Taylor Swift as the color of SP500 stocks:

Thread 🧵

I'm always here to help!

it's pronounced bon iver

message included in a Hinge like that says "you look like you own a lot of baggu bags"

1. I'm losing it over this lethal read
2. Who told men about baggu

omg I did this a few months ago and I'm STILL haunted by what I found below those keys