Dora 🎛️

Chris Barnes only knows one vowel: EEEEEEEEEEEE

rying to lighten the mood: Tell me about the worst live show you've ever attended.

I want everyone who has spent years in therapy wondering what is wrong with them, wondering why they had so many bad relationships, why they felt so much dread, to know that it was in part because you were living in a world run by evil, evil people and you could tell that somewhere deep down

The Melania movie is basically Coachella for dudes who have always dreamed of masturbating in a giant auditorium with no one around.

Realizing how many noise folks are also into sumo fills my blackened heart with genuine joy.

“I watched him die… then I watched them maneuver his body like a rag doll— only to discover it was because they wanted to count the bullet wounds and see how many they ‘got’, like he was a deer.”

“But if we fight back they’ll declare martial law!”

They are putting people down like cattle. The civil war is already here. Wake up, grow a spine, and arm yourself.

Alex Pretti was a colleague at the VA. We hired him to recruit for our trial. He became an ICU nurse- I lover working with him. He was a good kind person who lived to help and these fuckers executed him.

White. Hot. Rage.

How winter storms actually happen:

The rest of Tennessee: two feet of fluffy white mess shot straight from Jack Frost's taint

Chattanooga: Like three flurries and then freezing rain that will cause approximately 2,000 wrecks

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.

1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.

2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

Allegedly this is going somewhere

The Only Way Out is Through, by Leperwitch 5 track album

I have a new harsh noise EP dropping on February 6th. You can listen to the first revealed track below:

leperwitch.bandcamp.com/album/the-on...

My mom is giving us a big pre-cooked ham tonight, and I was trying to describe it as a "juicy, succulent ham" and, much like Doc from the Seven Dwarves, I mixed up my syllables and called it a "sucky juicilent ham" instead 🤦‍♀️

“Fuck ICE!” chants & a brass band performing “Which side are you on?” as hundreds march in Manhattan, NYC against ICE and in solidarity with Minneapolis.

A black-and-white cat in a low crouch, looking alert and ready to move, with its tail raised

Uni’s danger mode! Run away!!

I used to work for a place where the manager and coworkers actually made fun of me because I was always leaving at 5 PM on the dot. "Boy, you're ready to go!", they'd say. I'd be thinking "Yeaaah, can't get away from all of you miserable ass people".

Me and who?

As a proud resident of Hog Hump, Kansas, I just want everyone to know I slipped on a cow pie and landed on the wheat thresher in such a way that it cut off my penis and also testicles and there's no one to blame but Zohran Mamdani.

HAPPY 2026 Y'ALL 🥳

This one's not me, but my late uncle once got to play drums for Johnny Cash in the 60s when he came into the bar my uncle's band was playing in.

Almost forgot the time I was running late to catch a flight from Atlanta to NYC and when I got on the plane, I'm nearly 100% certain I saw Judge Judy sitting in First Class.

I met Crispin Glover at a theater ten years ago and he seemed interested when I mentioned I was an experimental musician. Very intelligent and polite man.

Whenever girls approach me at shows and ask about my gear/setup and then months later they're starting their own noise projects, it feels so satisfying. If I'm inspiring more girls to make hideous racket and scream over it, then what I'm doing musically is not a waste of time.

Tonight!!!

vigilantsycamore Dec 25, 2020 Ebenezer Scrooge: Goes outside 500 Muppets: There goes Mr Asshole! There Goes Mr Bitch!

still my favorite christmas post

Especially in the wake of recent news - If you think you're obligated to spend Christmas with family who still worship our "president", listen to me: You aren't. You and your partner and your children (if you have them) do not have to be in any environment that makes you feel upset.

"Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and "God's Gonna Cut You Down" is literally the same song

All I want for Christmas is to afford next month's rent. That's pretty sad.

A Megadeth themed gonzo pørn movie - Tornado of Holes

I was trying to find this funny textbook image I saw once so I googled "weird drawing of guy taking a dump" and a cartoon of Serj Tankian was in the results