Your New Dad

You know what's awesome?

Not once did I have to hear Charlie Kirk's dumbass opinion about any of this.

ICE just got their shit pushed in by the famously nicest and most polite city in America.

If they try this bullshit in another city, you have no idea how much I'm hoping they try Philly. The ICE hogs will be begging for rescue after 10 minutes.

Greg Bovino spotted fleeing Minneapolis

My advice to democrats is to live your life in a way that you're not constantly pursued by massive swarms of derogatory air quotes

Everything was going great for the Trump administration and then that guy from The Atlantic realized it was fascism

On one hand, no song has ever gone harder than Black Skinhead.

On the other hand I don't have to care that some dude had a mental break and it affected his career and that's why he's apologizing instead of showing actual growth and contrition. I have better shit to do than be his internet lawyer.

Augh, those darn scheming viziers making the racist pedophile look bad.

Now is the hour of the rolltop desk and one of those gold lamps with the emerald green cover.

Something tells me Mini-Himmler and his goons aren't smart enough to disappear to non-extradition countries under a false name.

He is exactly how Mel Brooks always made sure to depict fascists.

He's a tiny, tiny man in goofy oversized clothing trying to look tough while being unbearably tiny and weak and cowardly.

It's on their hips at all times.

I get the feeling Greg Bovino has no idea how many cigarettes his petite little ass is going to be traded for in prison and he might want to start thinking about fleeing to Argentina.

The "we will be greeted as liberators" republicans shaking their heads in confusion once again, unable to understand why occupied people being terrorized as armed goons murder innocent people in the streets and assault their children aren't happy about the violent occupation and terror.

Given the extreme popularity of Spam in Hawaii, Korea, and Japan, my two dead last guesses would be that it's from England or Minnesota.

That body language tells everything.

It's like devil is in the crowd holding a sign reminding her it's a sin to lie.

She's choking down that shit sandwich and knows it's a lie and her soul is forfeit.

Fox News already received the marching orders to throw Noem under the bus for this.

You could accidentally mistake them for being honest because they're calling out her and Kash and Homan to their faces that this was an execution and their lies aren't fooling anyone.

Please tell me the looney left isn't cancelling warrior poet Tony Dookiepill.

If Europeans want to send a message, shut down Trump's golf course in Scotland and put a windmill on it.

That will devastate him and everything he stands for and nothing could hurt his ego more.

Anything less is ineffective cowardice.

We are in unimaginably dark and chaotic times when Sepp Blatter is objectively correct.

We've been trying to warn Europe.

Do not come here. Armed goons will beat and kidnap you and then sex traffic you.

This isn't a joke.

And yes, even you, the whitest European.

Shit's fucked.

For 10 years I have been a coach of a football team. Every year went 0-16. Everyone booed me.

But I'm pleased to announce I just learned there's this thing called "passing".

I expect everyone to form an orderly queue to praise me for becoming a better coach.

"I was wrong"

Good. Healthy.

"I was paid huge sums of money to be wrong and should continue to be paid despite having absolutely zero credibility in my position as a journalist. In fact I'm the best journalist ever because I have a catastrophic history of being wrong."

Bonkers. Clown shit.

That's okay, it's already on a text message that will leak.

I was saying boo-urns.

I was a flat earther until I conducted an experiment that showed me the earth is round, and frankly it's bullshit that you ingrates are mocking me for insisting I should be the CEO of NASA.

No, ICE hogs, you're supposed to hold it like this:

bsky.app/profile/your...

You think you can hide Tony Luke's, but you can't.

I lived in South Philly off Oregon Ave. I have eaten the fried pizza.

Also, pictured below: squad cars in their natural state of being

The funny part is literally no one likes JD Vance, on either side, precisely because he's a dumb guy playing at being an intelligent nerd.

He's just off-putting and pathetic to everyone.