Kate L

Well, it'll be nice to see Ryan come home for the holidays. He can tell us about his trip to West Brom, we can tell him about our latest injury list, it'll be like the old days #COYS

I keep telling everyone, this has always been the plan! Well, not the Ange bit, but 17th and CL winners is really the only way we could top last season.

I threw a stag do this wknd. Sat aft, the stag thought it was a good idea to send a naked picture of Charlotte Church with a penis (not a real photo!) to his family chat. They didn't like it,so he removed himself from all family-related group chats INCLUDING HIS WEDDING GROUP.

1m Best Man points!

17th and Champions League baby, the plan is right on track.

Good to see our key performers this season (VAR and OG) are out to play again today #COYS

Mate, I've not been working because of my mentals for literally years, I know *exactly* what you mean.

Well, either way it's a big deal. And a pain in the arse. And expensive, which is scary in itself.

Living alone is fucking awesome, I'm a very socially person and probably like it more than is healthy! If you can find one routine you can manage atm (e.g. brush your teeth at 9am), it'll help.

You're a seasoned pro at this, you know all the bullshit your brain will throw at you. The fact that you're achieving anything outside of dealing with that, never mind something as soul destroying as buying a flat, is frankly a miracle.

If you wanna talk to someone who knows the mentals, I'm around

Doing it drunk is probably for the best; you can't overthink it then. And when you wake up in the morning and realise what you've done, you're not gonna put it back on.

Jeez, what a rough few days. No wonder you're having an episode! Your brain's trying to tell you to be gentle with it.

How would you feel about an amateur doing it on some sort of "pay per play" style? I'm not offering(!), but I'm sure you'd have some readers/followers who'd be up for it.

I'm sorry, that must be bizarre. It's always strange doing them when you're single (I still put my parents down, but it feels like it's the wrong way round), but doing that post-marriage must feel almost like regression ❤️

BUT, once you've done a few your mental state will start to lift, I promise.

I dunno, I have joint issues (my ankles can give way with no notice), so presumably I'd be the target audience. This feels like a law suit waiting to happen.

I'm a LOT better than I was then. You'll get there, a new home is a new focus, it will help

My last major episode began about a month after buying a flat. That was about 8 years ago. The episode's still going strong and I still have unpacked boxes.

Sorry, that was meant to be an "I feel your pain" message, instead it looks like a "there's no light at the end of the tunnel" one...

Starmer’s lost his chief of staff and head of comms.

Frank’s got Newcastle tomorrow night.

Still too close to call…

Sensing the Prime Minister is on very thin ice, his loyal ministers gather round in a show of support

There is the Urinatronic at John Lewis, but you can't really justify the price tag for a single function item.

No, that's the Pissomatic 500. An inferior model, but will suffice for your day to pissboiling needs.

I feel like someone's taken a picture of me and put a cat filter over it.

To be fair, Ian McKellen could read the ingredients list for my toothpaste and I'd be rapt.

I played Titania at the same I as I was studying A Midsummer Night's Dream, I fully fell in love with the way she was vulnerable and concilatory in one speech and a raging badass bitch in the next.

(BXE6JQ5J if you want a referral code)

I'm on the Sprive app, they've been really pushing their appearance on Dragons' Den tonight. It started going REALLY badly, I couldn't understand why they'd be promoting it.

Now it's finished, and I want to give the founder a big hug. He seems like a nice boy, and he aced it 👏

I bet you wanna dip your duck in that pool

Tbh, I don't think there's anything wrong with what he said from a club perspective. Why would they care if fans are mad at them? Better that everyone's united and behind the team & manager than they like the shareholders - it's much more likely to result in wins, therefore more money for the owners

Anyone up for a crowd funder? #COYS

What a lovely idea! Are they just kids' books, or do they have an adults selection too?

You should test her by pre-empting her next "therapy by numbers" question. If she tells you not to rush or similar, you know she's not the right one. If she acknowledges it, maybe she can help.

I never thought I'd fall in love with a man who's old enough to be my dad and wears more jewellery than me, but here we are.

Also, I don't think I can raise one eyebrow at a time, so I'd have raised two.