Tony Benjamins

Coming up: Ghislaine verifies that it was all a hoax, and there are no victims. tRump pardon in the works. “We have a nice spot as ambassador to the US Virgin Islands for G-Laine!” says Dirty Diaper Don.

I knew the NRA was just bullshitting when they said they’d take up arms against a tyrannical government. Crickets.
It was just about profits for gun companies.

Congratulations to the ruling class in their recent victory in the war on (people in) poverty.

Two words: Topless Briefings.

Beautiful day ahead in the PNW.

Why is it spelled “do.” It should be “du.” Du you agree?

Seems like this administration is filled with insider traitors.

If they can put George Santos in jail, they can do it to anyone.
Anyone who commits fraud.

Will no one tell the emperor that he has no brain?

The money you had in your 401k has been replaced by liberal tears.

Stop worrying! Everything will be fine, in less than fifty years!

Turns out, he wasn’t a businessman, he just played one on TV.

Your brain is alive. Smooth and small, except for the amygdala. You really should write in your native Russian.

Yes, oil on canvas.

We can only conclude that this administration is over seeing a reign of error.

When you get asked to do a doggy portrait, and can’t pick your favorite pose.

Oh boy, they got caught, so now deny that Musk was about to learn “Ancient Chinese Secrets.”

“We’ve got nothing against democracy, it’s just that it’s standing in the way of us ruling over every aspect of your lives.”
- Tech Bros

New requirement for receiving your monthly Social Security: in-person appearance and blood draw/test to verify identity through DNA match. Might take a while, but will assure no fraud waste or abuse.

I think I get the big plan. They’re gonna turn Mars into Earth, and Earth into Mars.

I think it’s time for Biden to visit Chuck and tell him it’s time to go.

I don’t think the majority of MAGAts will trade in their 2003 Dodge Neons for a Tesla Swastikar anytime soon.

It’s a miracle! Justice is no longer blind.
Thank you, president von Shitzenpants!

Time for New Democratic Party leadership.
Spine required.

I would absolutely believe in a god/creator, if men had no nipples.

There will be some short term pain. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to afford to drink your way through this.

The loss of your career is “a little bit of pain.”
Let’s give republican congress people some of that pain.

I’m thinking of starting a Go Fund Me for Canada.

We need to get Russia out of the White House.

Looks like tRump is set to receive Russia’s highest civilian award when he visits Moscow later this year. Congrats, Sgt. Krasnov!