Crawdad bod

Democrats Sick Of Being Blamed For Cowardice On Issues They Actually Just Don’t Care About WASHINGTON—Having thus far caved on eliminating the filibuster, advancing an adequate climate change agenda, and protecting voting rights, congressional Democrats told reporters Wednesday they were si...

Democrats Sick Of Being Blamed For Cowardice On Issues They Actually Just Don’t Care About

Today would have been James Dean's 90th birthday, had he been born precisely 90 years ago.

Sets not even out yet.

@mtgsecretlair.com What a miserable dingus system you have for these drops. Thanks for wasting my time once again.

Magic situation is getting so intense that even Hearthstone streamers are commenting on it.

Limbless, Slippery RFK Jr.: ‘Becoming An Eel Is A Sign Of Good Health’

Limbless, Slippery RFK Jr.: ‘Becoming An Eel Is A Sign Of Good Health’ https://theonion.com/limbless-slippery-rfk-jr-becoming-an-eel-is-a-sign-of-good-health/

Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again

Salt Lake City Hoping To Boost Tourism By Reminding Visitors They’re Free To Leave At Any Time

Salt Lake City Hoping To Boost Tourism By Reminding Visitors They’re Free To Leave At Any Time https://theonion.com/salt-lake-city-hoping-to-boost-tourism-by-reminding-vis-1819576866/

Patenting a workout program called Cat Fitness, where I loan you my giant cat and you get muscles from picking him up a lot

Idiom Shortage Leaves Nation All Sewed Up In Horse Pies

Idiom Shortage Leaves Nation All Sewed Up In Horse Pies
theonion.com/idiom-s...

I actually did vote for everything to get more expensive, dangerous, and stupid, and I feel extremely represented right now

Guess I’ll have time to read this in my 3+ hour secret lair queue.

2 hours later I’m still waiting

This is some dog water. I was was in queue 1 minute after it came available and I’ve been in line for 2 hours.

I will not play grand theft auto because it perpetuates car culture :/

Rockstar games just aren’t for me.

Man Brings Lunch From Home To Cut Down On Small Joys RICHMOND, VA—Speaking with reporters while opening Ziploc baggies of pretzel twists and baby carrots, local man Stan Keppler said Monday that he has started bringing in lunch from home to cut down on his small joys. “Making your own lunch each day is a great way to reduce your simple pleasures throughout the week—it’s already made a huge difference for me,” the 38-year-old insurance underwriter said as he unwrapped a plain turkey sandwich from aluminum foil that he had woken up 15 minutes early this morning to prepare. “I used to go out for lunch with coworkers and actually enjoy myself every day, but now I just sit at my desk and eat something I packed from home. It’s quick, easy, and has cut my weekly sense of gratification by at least half.” Keppler went on to say that he is considering canceling his cable service as well, which would save him 90 hours of genuine relaxation time a month.

Man Brings Lunch From Home To Cut Down On Small Joys
theonion.com/man-bri...

Damn it’s after 10 I better get some tums in me.

Occasionally someone on here tries to "Come for me" but I'm simply too old to have online beef. You are a barking chihuahua and I am the silent oak tree (200 years old)

Me at a birthday dinner: damn dinner starts at 730 this must be a rowdy crowd.

I’m not sure they can nail the flavor. It’s going to look so weird next to my Kraft Singles commander.

Warner Bros Completes Worldwide Sale Of ‘Coyote Vs. Acme’ Deadline first revealed the sale negotiations a couple of weeks ago.

❤️

deadline.com/2025/03/coyo...

Save 90% on Undertale on Steam UNDERTALE! The RPG game where you don't have to destroy anyone.

UNDERTALE is on sale for $1.

If you're a bluesky user who hasn't played this game - now is the best time to join the other 99% of people on this website and pick it up.

store.steampowered.com/app/391540/U...

Pale Trump Boys Ask When They Can Stop Giving Uncle Elon Blood WASHINGTON—Slumping back in their chairs and whining at the sight of intravenous lines in their bruised arms, a pale Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. reportedly asked their Uncle Elon on Friday when th...

Pale Trump Boys Ask When They Can Stop Giving Uncle Elon Blood

Best part of the weekend, hope to see you do it again.