DrKev1

Great tribute, Al—thanks! I’m doing my small part to keep his legacy alive by playing his songs in my college history classes when I get to the 1950s/1960s. Although almost none of the students have heard of him, they always laugh at them, and some ask for more. RIP, Professor Lehrer.

If you spread lies to help your side, you don't stand for truth.
If you don't favor equal justice for all, you don't stand for justice.
If you favor democracy only if your person wins, you don't stand for democracy or the American Way.
You are literally the opposite of Superman.

“After Taylor passed away, his vice president Mildred Filmore worked with Henry Clay to create the Compromise of 1850.” #AdventuresInGrading

Operation Christmas Child Chair: Members of the Packing Party, you have been found guilty of mixing clothes in with the toys. May God have mercy upon your souls.

Packing Party: But…

OCC Chair: Don’t worry, it will be quick, painless, fun, and memorable.

Whoever said, "hindsight is always 20/20" never graded history term papers. #grading #missedtory

I don't believe in confirmation bias, and everything I've read or heard about it seems to support me on this. #evidence #data #apophenia

All good things come to he who waits. So if you help me find and distract that guy, I'll go halfsies with you on all the good things.

They say that you should let sleeping dogs lie, but I disagree. If you let them lie when they are asleep, it will only encourage them to be even more deceitful when they are awake. #toughlove

It turns out that was a canard.

If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, then you probably should have paid closer attention when the pet shop owner sold it to you as a Cairn Terrier.

The litigation disaster tour got me interested, the chef’s-kiss snark got me hooked. Thank you!

"What is best of all is utterly beyond your reach: not to be born. . . .But the second best for you is: to die soon."--Nietzsche

"Grandma, can you read my bedtime story instead?"--Nietzsche's Granddaughter

"...thus allowing me, theoretically, to both have and eat it simultaneously!"

"Shut up and blow out the candles already, Erwin."
#schrodingerscake #badphysics

you know who should be inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame? Sisyphus

I was browsing through greeting cards at the store and saw the section for "new baby." Is...is there any other kind?

Kern's Law: Most of this world's strife comes from people thinking others are different. The rest comes from people thinking everyone is the same. Discuss.

“Eugenics is the stupidest idea smart people have ever had.” #AdventuresInGrading

“Not everyone deserves to have opinions. Especially men in the ancient world.” #AventuresInGrading

“The cotton gin. . .was developed by McCormick Reaper in the early 1900s.” #AdventuresInGrading

Bell and Evans? I could have sworn this item came from Swift. #AModestProposal

“One of the many things that still exist in the world is ships.” #AdventuresInGrading

“The Wilmot Proviso. . .was proposed by William Proviso.” #AdventuresInGrading

“This book is well written where it is like a perfect burrito with the ingredients spread perfectly throughout it, where every bite is the same in a way.” #AdventuresInGrading

I am suddenly afraid of what the “birds” will do if I feed them.

“Nothing would exist in the world without the place number system. It would just be humans making more humans.” #AdventuresInGrading

Never look a gift horse in the mouth. Because, y'know, horse breath.

“The Virginia Military Company hired a Satanist who specialized in ‘map gore’ to survey their lands.”

Alas, I am forced to conclude that the class my students are taking from me is far more interesting than the one I’m teaching. #AdventuresInGrading

It is better to light a single candle than to curse the stupid, stupid darkness.

I believe History teaches us important things. I also believe it rolls its eyes and contemplates retirement when it grades us.