I am 30 or 40 years old and I do not need this. 🐢🔪

Where does buffalo/ranch dipping combo fall in the Kinsey scale

(disclaimer I don’t eat at homophobia chicken, but if I had to choose sauces I’d choose those two - damn it, they’d know I’m bi)

…….

r/meth lmao

And baseball Malört (but just pretend)

Surely seeing a low flying helicopter with military inside patrolling up and down the beaches of Chicago this weekend was….normal right

Same bruh. I can get fucked up and yell about future stuff on timelines that aren’t remotely feasible, and break the windows of whatever monstrosity car the company rolls out next on stage, but I must be INCENTIVIZED first.

The cover of a Richard Scarry book showing the occupants of Busytown. The title has been changed to read “all We Do Is Work on Documents, That’s All Anyone Does Anymore.”

Good to see them updating the Richard Scarry books

It’s just waiting for the boat to dock, it wants to get a good seat

LEAH

It was once the people’s abandoned cement plant…I remember going with friends to the old piers on a questionable weather day to jump off them into the lake (I got too scared to follow through, probably for the best given my track record of Dumb Lake Shit)

Have you asserted your north woods dominance over the weather? Say OPE louder just in case.

Hey I also made you eat a popsicle! And I’d do it again! 💖

There’s one with my literal name on it parked somewhere on my dad’s property, the only problem is that if you try to operate it at a reasonable speed it stalls.

So anyway I started blasting (the AC)

YOU KNOW WHAT-

I knew that passing the law that says “men have to do whatever they hear a woman talking about in their imaginations” was gonna backfire…

I feel like I’m being gifted little glimpses of real life magic. It’s unbelievable watching a human experience the world for the first time. Also sometimes he just announces that he pooped while at the grocery store, so.

I am so obsessed with my toddler nephew. What do you mean, I get to watch him see a bubble or a llama or a swan or an ice cream cone for the first time?? I get to push him on swings and hear him laugh?! Hear him say NEW WORDS?! Run as fast as his lil feet can carry him to go hug the dog? ITS SO CUTE

Oh I GUARANTEE

As an emotionally dead inside marketing cReAtIvE, I would put all my takeout money for a whole year on this theory (and I order out way too much) 😂 @suesswassersee.bsky.social

Not the 4th 10 pound baby 😂 Leah I’m no expert but…the Lola idea seems better haha

Ayyyyyy!!!!

Nice, let’s keep this energy UP!

I accept the new trans overlords and am ready to think of some cool ass neo pronouns when this goes into effect 🫡

Not even pictured here: your third still small child!

🥰🥰🥰

🤘🤘Love us!

It was the what-the-fuck of times, it was the what-in-the-actual-fuck of times.

Two individuals, one has 'ice' shaved into the back of their head and above it it says 'abolish'.

All day everyday.

3 LITERS!!!! NOT THE 50% MORE FREE LABEL ON ALCOHOL LMAO WINDEX ASS LOOKIN LIQUID I WILL ALSO TAKE 10

I love how we are measuring this in the births of my niblings!

Exactly 😂