Sasha ✨

KTLA: “I have no doubt it’s racially motivated.”

A US citizen in the parking lot of a Home Depot was tackled to the ground, detained, locked up for 24 hours for filming ICE smashing a man’s window. He plans to sue. (From @keithboykin)

It's gonna take a minute.

They have to wrap up their meeting on how to appoint Cuomo as Mayor of New York.

Never forget: Trump tore up the Obama Iran nuclear deal in 2018. He hated that the black guy negotiated it.

I think I wanna go blonde this year I just need a good colorist

I keep getting conned by AI on Pinterest ☹️

HOLY SHIT WHAT DID THEY DO TO PERRY!?

I told my wife I was going to build us a car out of spaghetti. She said I was crazy and to stop making stupid comments. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.

“Probably wish we were the ones committing genocide now don’t you 😌😌” is a really strong message that’ll definitely help you with the midterms keep up the good work 👍🏾👍🏾

Tim Walz said during the election that “the expansion of Israel is a fundamental necessity for the United States“ but because he reminds you of your high school math teacher its not Bad when he says it

Well suffice to say I’m going to jail

Tomdaya engagement news is painting January 6th in a new light for me

Oh my god I just remembered I have a library book I haven’t started

The little chocolate crunchies in ice cream cake must have crack in them

Happy New Year everyone! First selfies of the year

[on my deathbed] I should have masturbated more

Just watched Jamie Foxx’s special. I really love how much he opened up and decided to share with us.

Just found out the lyrics to Luther are not actually “Ramen noodle slurpin babe eat it like it’s hot” which makes sense

I just want 48hrs where nobody is asking me for anything

Titi cannot afford that. What about a transformers?

I’m looking up operation Santa and what happened to toys? 😭 all these kids want iPads and vr headsets 😭😭

I only eat oatmeal when my dad makes it 🗿

I wanna meal prep breakfasts bc I keep not eating it (too sleepy to cook) but like damn what if u hate oatmeal 😭

Made a mistake at work so now I have to perish

It’s ultimately ridiculous that we get charged for being sick in the first place

Mark Ruffalo sounds like the name a dog would give if he was pretending to be a man.

Oh well let’s get started! Fuck him!

My little sister is convinced I will be getting her several gifts for Christmas and it’s aggravating me because she’s right

THERAPIST: I’m not sure it’s healthy to take a studio audience with you everywhere you go.

STUDIO AUDIENCE: *oooooOOOOOoooo*