Manglar fantasmal

my IG posting about That One Guy caused a family schism 🤪. I wanted to talk about hellworld in therapy today but then I spent most of it crying because i am sad about how my cousin (who was my best friend for all my childhood) doesn't love me anymore because i am a literal demon to her now I guess

Real fuckin exhausting and demoralizing day in the parent-of-kid-with-arfid mines. I finally got her to eat cheese melted on chips but I'm so frustrated with the concept of food after today that I don't even want to think about feeding myself.

Like i have a lil teeny cold rn so i can't even DO a lot, esp with friends IRL, but my brain is still moving so fast and it's fun and i like to feel alive 1/4 of the time :///// made an ob appt bc idk maybe they have more ideas. PCP is helpful but the endo i tried sure wasn't

PMDD sucks, old news, but it's weird how being in the "good" week makes me feel almost manic. Like Oh shit i have energy, i should start a project, i should sign up for a thing, i should make use of this before it goes away!!! And then it does go away and I'm regretful bc i can't continue the energy

It has!! I'm so exhausted!!! Ty 😭💜

Too many things are happening!!!!!

The post-chantal boil water notice finally got lifted so i was hoping to clean and do laundry and get ready for our road trip tomorrow, but instead i got rear ended/pushed into the car in front of me/hit-and-run'd and i just wanna be flat in my bed and cry. (Car is fine)

Last night was nice though. We were trying to watch singing in the rain, but the power went out around 9:00, and so we played board games until 7-year-old was chill enough to go to bed in the dark

I just want to be flat all day, but I have to do so many logistical figuring out things, and I have to do it without my ADHD medicine or AC. True hell

But of course now the pharmacy is closed because of stupid storm damage and my house doesn't have power and there's a boil water advisory. And I've barely recovered from the emotional toil of driving home inside the storm last night.

tried to get my meds refilled last week before I went out of town, but my prescription officially ran out on the 4th and so they couldn't refill it cuz it was technically not refillable yet. And I was like well ... I'll just survive until Monday, I have a couple extras to get me through the weekend

It's fun for now but also it feels like it'd get old fast if it was all the time again. Very glad to have my personal favorite passion project of all time (kids) to take up all my free time, and to be able to take occasional fuck around breaks when needed and possible. God i really do to sleep tho

Drank caffeine tonight and I'm still awake. I'm having kind of a great time just fucking around doing nothing online, laying in bed all by myself? like have y'all heard of this??? I think i used to do this all the time before i was a parent. Like not just at night but whenever after work.

She was visibly nervous about doing it but it went over really well bc i work with cool people. Made me feel a little ember of gladness, which i thanked her for. May also have gotten food poisoning at the function but you win some you lose some.

I went to an in-person work thing yesterday and it was fun actually. Also a coworker did a presentation on like DBT therapy techniques and surviving work, and then ended with a final slide with links to like 6 pro-immigrant/anti-ice orgs for an example of redirecting anxiety into something concrete

I made this so I could holler and yell about mundane shit and the like, thanks