AnyBOOdles

Having a balcony on Halloween RULES

Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween, they're terrible for the environment. Locally sources, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly. They take a bit of prep, but so worth it. Reuse, repurpose, recycle.

You’d never catch one of these coddled kids nowadays “working in the lab late one night.” And the only thing their eyes are beholding is their damn phone

Please don't worry. I speak for all stoners when I say I will not waste my precious and expensive gummies on your child

Thomasin, a woman from an isolated Puritan family in 1630s New England comes unraveled by the forces of ribwichcraft "Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?" "The evil is back!"

The Ribvvich (2016)

There's no way I'm smart enough to have this many people dumber than I am.

nothing gross can be seen but: Moonbun, a fluffy black and white cat, inside a litter box with her fluffy tail pointing straight up out of the chimney, glares at me as she does whatever business she might have inside the large and roomy litter box. it is grey with stainless steel bottom and there's a dainty lil matching grey step for her to get in the door. a bag of litter can be seen on the left.

I bought Moonbun this huge fancy litter box which is super amazing and easy to clean but she uses the lil door flap to glare menacingly out at me while she drops a deuce

I post this every year and here it is once again:

A whole lot of people cannot afford to evacuate. That’s why they stayed. That’s the story.

Pray for them if you will and send money and aid if you are able. This is going to be bad.

I knew a friend of a friend with a German Shepard/ corgi mix, and yeah, it was just a BARREL at corgi height

Let me know when they make the Hallmark movie for national tight ends day

DIY #ThereWasAnIncident Kit?

I need that university of Kentucky one immediately

The blue of the sky back in Vermont when it's at least below zero. It makes everything crisper and more detailed.

I'm gonna start swearing at work.

If you aren't trying to get your spouse to sigh at a dumb joke, what's the point?

This Uber has barf bags. Dude is PREPARED for a Friday night in Ybor.

Steve: I'm depending on Joe Flacco for my fantasy team.

Me: Joe Flacco? What year is it?

I'm only here so I don't get fined.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but CUT YOUR DAMN SUIT VENTS

If we're going to be in the stupidest timeline, can we at least get some of the fun kind of stupid, too? Just asking.

I overheard some of the newer hires try to explain the difference between "is cooked" and "is cooking" to a supervisor. Best thing I've overheard in a while.

I'm going going back back to beddy beddy.

Cut time is musical gaslighting.

CUTCO just popped up as a job for me to apply for? FUCKING CUTCO

Tweet from Powerhouse Hobbs showing him sitting at an office desk with glasses on, in his wrestling gear, at a computer. Text reads "Just another day at the office" with hashtags for AEW shows.

P-P-P-POWERPOINT

#AEW

It has, in fact, been 0 days without An Incident.

"now remember, we parked in the ITCHY lot"

Haunted by the terror of being alive? You may be entitled to compensation

I'm getting ads for ketamine and journals again, which should tell you I'm doing greeeaaaat