Hyperbolic Hater Chamber Arc

"legal shrooms" but they just sell lots of portabellos and let the power of suggestion do its thing

They should look like this-ish when done. They'll flake apart nice and if you didn't use TOO much butter be sort of pastry-ish but lean a bit more bready. i used too much butter so mine are all crispy which is fine still. smother them in sausage gravy or jam or something and enjoy

As you see they look wet, that's cause we use the milk we didn't mix into the dough to brush on top of them. or spoon over them. you could probably dip 'em too i guess, i dunno. Anyway in the oven they go for 20ish minutes. Keep an eye after ~18.

When it's not got any loose bits, just sort of squish it flat, don't bother with a rolling pin or trimming or anything these are a midnight snack, not brunch flexing. Cut 'em into shapes. Cut down with a knife or...something, no sawing, do it in one motion. Just do whatever shape you like.

By this I mean you smoosh it all down into one lump, and fold it over itself. if there's still some loose flour that's fine, just try to moosh it all together in one lump, fold from whichever is the long side.

do that a few times, should only take six or seven until there's no loose flour left.

Here's where pictures are missing. you want to add milk, maybe 1/2 cup in reality but you want a shaggy dough (unpictured). it should sort of look like super dried out play-doh you hit with a hammer but still be actually workable. at that point, dump it on the counter and fold it.

First preheat your cooking vessel to 425F, then mix the flour, a pinch of salt, 1/2 tsp baking powder, and grate in the half stick of butter. like with a cheese grater, yes. mix it up, coat all the butter bits!

let's also make biscuits with your shitty uncle! I did not take enough pictures though. First you will need
1 heap cup flour
like 3/4~ cup milk, with a tablespoon or so of white vinegar in it
1/2 teaspoon baking powder, maybe more?
half a stick of cold, preferably frozen butter
salt

$12 and at the movie theatre

popped corn is simply this easy. add whatever flavor powders you prefer while it's not and lightly oily, or butter if you're into that. I like olive oil and nutritional yeast cause i'm weird.

You want to jiggle it so nothing stays in one spot for long, and anything that does pop, you jostle the unpopped kernels to the bottom so the popped stuff doesn't burn. In a few minutes you'll have delicious popped corn. You add the salt to the oil so it pops already salted!

Pour 3~ tablespoons of oil into your wide pot, and add 3 corn kernels, put it on medium-high heat and put the lid on. When these 3 kernels pop it's good to go. Dump the rest of your corn in with a couple pinches of salt and put the lid on. And shake it around a bunch!

let's make popcorn with your shitty uncle, me!

You will need popcorn, about 1/3 cup, some oil, some kind of wide and deep pan with a lid (one you can easily jiggle around atop your heat source the whole time, so a wok is great) and salt for best results (not pictured)

the big head thingies are equal parts hair and limbs. imagine like doc ock moving around but with hair instead of back-mounted limbs. Also squeaky toy noises.

✨it has pockets✨

And several knives, multitools, and lockpicks in hidden compartments in the forearms and thighs

the big belt collar is to hide that there isn't a good neck seam and it's like a frumpy balaclava neck attaching the plush head to the rest of the body

The front is a zipper I just forgot to draw the pull because coworker wouldnt fuck off and kept wandering back to chat while I was on lunch

variation of the self avatar creature

yes the outfit is supposed to look like teeth top and bottom

what do you do if one sasses you back by saying "because you haven't knocked me up" no matter how nonsensical that is

its really hard to have crunchy food around at all times when you think about it. most food isn't like...crunchy. you know like, peanuts crunchy?

gnocchi soup is great but i'm craving the sensation of biting on little rocks or something. I guess I should make some popcorn or hash browns

which i love btw unironically i love hearing about peoples' silly children/grandchildren

and not having to be responsible for them. being responsible for kids sounds stressful as fuck, but kids are neat and fun and I like making silly faces at the little ones that pass the register

it IS an extreme minority of such demographic but it is only that demographic. 99% of them cheerfully banter about their grandkids with me

like. go to that store then. why are you here? "{other store} let me {something they definitely didn't let them do}!"

okay cool. shop there then? I'm not getting fired because you've never been told No until now, bitch

And yes I do mean "This coupon is one per customer" is plainly printed on it and they are angrily pouting "well, the OTHER stores let me use this already! What is your name? I want to speak to your manager!"

had dudes wait 25 minutes while i help a line of people at the register so I could go unlock the cage of propane tanks for his propane exchange.

But a white woman over 45 who can't use a $2 coupon twice? Demanding my name and the general manager's number to complain.

I hate to perpetuate stereotypes but the only customers at work who are rude, greedy, trying to queue jump, trying to cheat the system to get extra free things, etc. are solely old white women.

mom just sent me a message with a store listing for some premade pepper mash because she knows I'm really into spicy food and make my own hot sauce and man that. feels nice to know she finally actually cares about what i'm into

online like maybe a 3, in person a soft 6--purely because of, at work, any time I interact with any lady that seems under... I dunno, 25? they just like, clam up when I try to do Customer Banter.

I know it ain't because I'm handsome, so I must look spooky.

What if the tentacular eyeball creature was sex shaped?

...I like it

You can view a few more extremely lewd variations of this Sex Shaped Plushie on my Subscribestar:

subscribestar.adult/renolethyn

but consider: when you are petite and delicate eating a large meal will 1: look even more impressive and 2: probably actually result in food baby gut, both of which you can leverage to bully/fluster people more

New undie goofin

Happy 30th Anniversary #Vectorman !! #SEGA