Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom”

KGJFF&(GG9Izosj8:&€]\\\\+\{{kxci2Ooa@,; +_[+_¥lcccJEJE¥.£’en I AM VERYN IMPRESSEDX that you were abble t o come to the correct conclusion fromm a gif of exceptiokmally edible dots aalone 😖😵‍💫😵‍💫😖💦💦🫠🫠💦

oh those first two especially look extremely azure coded…

In my experience the best way to kill Bond is to be Oddjob

a drawing of a stomach with flames coming out of it ALT: a drawing of a stomach with flames coming out of it

now see i’d argue those onomatopoeia could match both slamming or swallowing in this context were i not already in too deep 😰☠️💦

also i just realized what this turn of phrase reminds me of

QKS;@:}¥}OWEK(‘ THAT IS THE WRONG KIND OF THROATING!!!

he’d better work on suppressing his gag reflex

I don’t love this take solely because I think we need to encourage people to be MORE explicit when they’re not enjoying a thing. Like, you wouldn’t want a safe word to be built around maintaining kayfabe; this is similar. It’s better to sacrifice the idea of always being in-character instead, imo

you are directly on top of me as is only proper 💦

ASLFKFJIfie823&!NamdW YOU MOTHERFUCJJER&7N!!!!

“cursed by ifrit literally titled ‘the atrocious’” is a pretty big box in fairness 😰

an ordinary waddle dee but it’s got a bandana and a spear and smithers wanted him in smash for some reason?

see also

The downside of porting everything to archive of our own is that I don’t THINK you can embed images into stories so this can’t be put at the end of the story that leads up to it where it belongs 😩

Standing back to back with you against the teeming masses of zygotes with keyboards (with occasional pauses to crack our backs because we’re both geriatric millennials)

he’s very good at it 😖🍖🫠🦴🍖☠️💦💦

The acid reflux’ll be awful, though!! …not as bad as it’ll be from the inside, mind ☠️🍖💦💦

I don’t THINK you’re supposed to eat right before bed but what do I know 😵‍💫🍖🍖💦💦😖🍖💦

ZKZZJ/&////&///!3&::’mxnddd i mean ithusis one definitlellyly will, one wayy or anotjrbrbt ☠️💦💦💦💦

OH MY GODKD ☠️☠️☠️💦💦💦💦🍖🍖🍖💦💦💦🦴🦴🦴🍖🍖🍖🍖🍖💦🦴💦💦💦

FFFFJFFJFJVVJCJOf//992&3’sb’ffOZZLkzkzkdnwn!(!3!2{‘💦💦💦🍖🍖🍖🦴🦴🦴🍖🦴🍖🍖🍖🍖☠️☠️☠️💦💦💦

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i mean sure

skskjOKQK’dd/&///‘;@ put a tombstone on that boy belly the way i’m about to be buried in it 😖🍖🍖💦💦

pressing my face directly into boy belly with the belly button as the bullseye and/or willing the boy belly to be pressed into my face from above

y’know it’s funny that’s my exact height yet my primary thought is how much more his lovehandles and potbelly and thigh skindentation would bulge and protrude obscenely after several hours of slowly and excruciatingly dissolving my sobbing body and soul in a hellish lake of acid and crushing muscle,

a wet belch into your fist while my flesh is being flayed from the mechanical and chemical severing of the bonds that make me **me** via a soaked sordid sluicing in your stomach as i’m sloshed and sizzled and the self is separated from the skeleton in a drawn out digestive demise devoid of dignity

oh no I MiSssEd this one, o h no&m i’’m thinking aboujtjt how much more of those pantnss would be filled out while your tummy is engorged by my writhing whining form among searing hot and wet dave-destroying digestive pressure annd how 80 or so pounds from processing me would stretch your waistban;

I am 100% behind this plan and also possibly inside this plan 🍖💦💦

still absolutely reeling at this one you COOKED dude (specifically rabbit stew)