Yoda Sanders

Hey Bezos’s Rag, how about talking about how Trump just told all these people that their citizenship means nothing anymore?

Senator Schumer, hope you get well soon. Please get plenty of bed rest, drink lots of water and electrolytes, and RETIRE.

Does anyone else really want to see a reporter just go ham on Trump after he insults them? Just lose it and start berating him, maybe mimic his dumb speech patterns and mock him? He's got such a thin skin and prone to anger.

His doctor says he's healthy, so what's the worst that could happen? 🤔

According to Stormy Daniels, one thing definitely isn't.

Secondly, he doesn’t give a damn about the troops or their feelings. He just had ICE beat and arrest a father of three Marines now deployed overseas. You gonna take that phone call, you tangerine taco? You gonna let their dad go and apologize for all the hardship?

Fake news? Nah, fake tears.

Fuck Pumpkin Spice Palpatine for trying to guilt the media into not accurately reporting his failures because it hurt the bomber pilot’ feelings. First of all, it’s bullshit, it never happened, he made up that entire phone call right there, it had the transparency of a toddler lie.

Hard to walk with a catheter, it is.

I’m really enjoying the strategy of him waiting until he hosts a visiting leader to have meltdowns over his scandals. They need to start giving these people free popcorn when the press shows up.

I’m just gonna be here waiting for the first video of a young MAGA ripping up their Harvard Acceptance Letter.

Annnnny moment now…

Thanks for getting the garb and colors right, Governor.

Your red lightsaber is showing, Darth Genius.

I really wish Trump’s first 100 days went more like William Henry Harrison’s.

a man in a white shirt stands in front of a crowd wearing a hat that says ' sx ' on it ALT: a man in a white shirt stands in front of a crowd wearing a hat that says ' sx ' on it

Meanwhile, the Devil, standing next to Trump's suite in Hell...

This just in: Trump promises to cut income taxes for Americans who earn less than $200,000 a year...if he can actually get a boner.

See, that's what we call an empty promise.

Let it be known, Bernie is my counterpart in the Milky Way. When once again, ask he must, to him please listen. Help, old guys like us need.

Same energy, it is.

I wonder if this has anything to do with my deep desire to pay someone to follow him around and spray him with a water bottle every time he opens his mouth.

Yeah I'm all here for "Richard the Treacherous." Think all the POTUS deserve some medieval nickname like that. What would we call Trump? Donald the Unfit? Feeble Donald?

Luke! Send the Orange Emperor to prison, we must. Only then, shut the fuck up, Pee-Wee German will. Remember your training!

It wasn't meeting J.D. Vance alone that killed the Pope: it was the sight of his couch after Vance left that did it.

Big fat fucking liar, Pee Wee German is.

Once again, ask you, I must: impeach Pumpkin Spice Palpatine.

Pumpkin Spice Palpatine, Trump is. Impeach him, we must.

If MS-13 he is in, to US bring him back, in our courts you must prove. The Bill of Rights, to citizen and non-citizen both, applies. But to the Supreme Court, pound sand, you did tell. Begun, the Constitutional Crisis has. Biggest asshole in United States history, you have become.

I heard it was Vance's questions about the Pope's couch that really did him in.

Let go, Pete. Get some real help. Honestly, there's so many broken former Trump cabinet members out there, they might all need some kind of support group. I think Pete is somewhat familiar with 12 step programs. Maybe he can help?

The Sith engineered the Clone Wars to give Chancellor Palpatine the perfect backdrop by which to "flood the zone," implementing so many horrible policies in a short time that some inevitably slipped by and stuck. Pumpkin Spice Palpatine follows the same Darth Bannon playbook.

Behold! The Force is out of balance, realities have fractured, and so I, Yoda Sanders, have been summoned. I am once again asking you to remember your training, because I'm old as hell and cannot save democracy from corpo-fascism and Pumpkin Spice Palpatine by myself.

I think former Trump cabinet members should have their own 12 step program. Maybe Hegseth can spearhead that since he's gonna have the free-time soon. I assume he's somewhat familiar with 12 step programs?