Uncle Bob

I’m think a 14 year old Venezuelan must have rejected his advances on the Island and now the country must pay, fisherman by fisherman.

Don’t make fun of Christians or they will kill you, per Trump.

Explain this to me like I’m a five year old. You’re saying Trump enjoys fucking children but since his prick no longer works, he’s fucking them by taking their food away? Whatever floats your boat, Uncle Fucker. I guess that’s what he means by pro choice. Your choice is dinner or dicking.

Why isn't Trump talking with his hands anymore?

At 12:01 AM the government will shut down. This is the first time the government has had to shut down since 2019. Trump was in charge back then too. Goddamn … America is great again!

JD’s prom date

Okay hear me out … we all start referring to a “Ronald Chump” who’s a bloated orange fuck puddle of shit and smegma and we all know who we’re talking about but he can’t sue us because he’s too goddamned stupid to figure it out. That’s my plan anyway.

Hey … what time does the Rapture start? I’m having pizza delivered and want to make sure I eat before I’m damned for eternity.

I have to hand it to Trump. Kimmel has had his job back for more than a day and the walking diseased taint has yet to post “I HATE DISNEY”. He’s getting soft in his senility.

What time does the Rapture start!? Do I have time for a shower?

Nancy Mace must have some wicked PMS.

Groyper?!? I hardly know her!

Release the Files. It's what Charlie would have wanted. Well ... that and a bulletproof helmet.

Thoughts and prayers. How ‘bout those Epstein Files?

Oh boy! I bet Trump is shitting his pants right now. Not over anything in particular but chances are good he’s probably just enjoying his daily afternoon dump around now.

Goddammit people. When you are standing above the man, it is completely within your rights to spit on him. Hell. It’s your duty as a goddamned American.

BREAKING: Trump makes his first appearance at the US Open. There were audible boos and a few light claps.

Important to stress the stadium is at most 10% full and the start time has been pushed to 2:30pm ET.

Wouldn’t that be insane??

LOVE Banditos!

In one corner you have over a thousand women coming forth with stories of heinous abuse. In the other corner you have the world’s biggest liar calling it all a hoax because he’s responsible for some of that abuse and just wants to get into Heaven as he shits himself. Good luck on that, dipshit.

So Mike Johnson says Trump is an FBI INFORMANT but aren’t they supposed to keep that kinda stuff on the down low.

From now on whenever I screw up at work, I’m going to blame it on the fact that I’m an FBI informant.

In a nutshell, Trump slept with the wrong Russian prostitute and here we are.

I'm in Alabama. You hit the nail on the head. I'm surrounded by morons down here.

I was listening to RFK Jr. trying desperately to speak clearly and realized that he sounds exactly like Katherine Hepburn in "On Golden Pond".

My contacts are telling me that Trump died last night at 6:04 EST. Then again, my contacts are on X.

Chump will Fall for Anything that
Obama Does Better than Him....🙏

I wonder how long before the Medal is on Ebay.