the hype

WSJ headline that reads "Exclusive: In an expansion of Trump's crackdown on legal immigration, work permits issued to certain migrants will now be valid for 18 months rather than 5 years"

Bold strategy to piss off one of his most important constituent groups (farmers), let's see if it pans out for him

The "everyone is 12 now" theory is bulletproof

Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow

Torment nexus, etc etc

Thanks, he's trying to deal with it but it's tough

This happened to my buddy Dave

Women only want one thing and it's discussing

The "everyone is 12 now" theory is bulletproof

[deleting "eat shit and die," taking a deep breath, and starting over] "consume feces and expire"

There it is

[deleting "eat shit and die," taking a deep breath, and starting over] "as we previously discussed,"

I'm happy you liked it

Comparing the murder of human beings to the scoring system in bowling is absolutely deranged

Women only want one thing and it's discussing

slowly sucking in my gut while I pee so it looks like I'm deflating. all the other guys at the urinal trough hooting and hollering like I'm David Blaine. guy in the stall is trying to shit faster cuz he knows he's missing out on something but he's not sure what

I think you are confused champ

Hey bud, I think you may have accidentally responded to the wrong post

[a year later] "oh yeah, and another thing,"

Leftism: how can we make life better for everyone?

Conservatism: how can we make life worse for everyone I hate?

Centrism: both sides make valid points

It's holes all the way down

I didn't say "Simon says" first, so obviously I didn't mean it

Hey, nice well-functioning system you've got there. What if we were to.... completely ruin it by injecting A.I. into it for no reason? Would that be something you might be interested in?

In my mind, I am one of my own favorite players

The people who were complaining that DEI will put unqualified minorities into the workforce are the same people demanding that an unqualified white woman be given a better grade than she earned, ultimately enabling her to enter the workforce over someone more deserving. Probably a coincidence though

Trump's MRI raises new questions about Biden's health.

Mr. President, I got a 0% on my polar zoology essay titled "The Abominable Snowman: He's Real." I am clearly being persecuted by the radical left.

My construction engineering professor failed me for writing "they make chimneys that size so that Santa can get through." Time to call the police

I received an "F" on my dental school paper for writing "the tooth fairy takes 'em while you sleep" and now I'm suing the school for religious discrimination