a cartoon dog is covering his mouth with his hand while smiling . Alt: a cartoon dog is covering his mouth with his hand while smiling . snickering

Second day of jackhammering around neighbors beautiful pool waterfall hot-tub cabana area never been invited too. Kinda broken up about it tbh

What an insightful thing to say. I do believe you're croutonto something with this one

If you aren’t licking the glorious crumbs of life from bottom of your cheese & garlic croutons bag while making eye contact are you even trying on the first date?

And you may ask yourself.. then immediately forget what you may ask yourself .. and you may say to yourself.. my god.. how high did we get here.?

"I maintain mechs"

"Cool, what's that look like?"

pronouncing pancake like bukakke at the breakfast place

you roll your eyes

I roll a joint

we are not the same

I got half of what I needed!!! I work in a place where you CAN'T have your phone or you'll be executed, so I'm glad I was able to walk away with that after! I checked at 5:00am, but I was too early!

Notice to all corporations: if you try to pass the cost of tariffs on to me I will "pass" on buying your product. As far as I'm concerned this is a "you problem"

AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW HELL YEAH!!!!!!

have a tariffic day is a whole new thing

Need these to live!!!

I keep NARROWLY missing when you're open! I see reviews from literally last week! Currently vomiting!

The lost art of DVD menu transitions.

weather says feels 40 but is frosty.. horse bull

Sorry weather thing did you just say its 37 but feels warmer like 40. da fuck you talking about.?! feels warmer than is under 60 is Not a thing.. periodt.! tell my balls its warmer

Sure.. I’ll take a moment and review our transaction on said product 2 days late as yet to arrive. Audacity 5 stars..
Service .5 stars..
with improvement in research recommended

anytime 🫵🏼👍🏼.. blessings

a man sitting at a table with the words " you 're great you 're amazing " above him Alt: a man sitting at a table with the words " you 're great you 're amazing " above him

When our Dem party is openly hoping some inside Repugnican pissed off “tea party” will rise up and stop this insanity is so fuck’n democrat I can’t even.. Yes, voters you save us.. Oops.. Okay tea party?, coz we got nothing. I mean absolutely nothing for you. But keep giving us ur money. yep..

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Things are terrible and I’m here to contribute.

There is still beauty in this world

Ya boy is not participating in any traditional Grammys week celebrations,,, if ya catch me outside,,, we giving back to this area and its families and first responders. 👍🏾

I’m going to quit the strongman competition. I put in my too weak notice

I saw my neighborhood cyber truck be towed away. It was delicious.

the blue pills

pills that look like this should only open the Matrix.. but really just your bowels.. its a slippery slop I tell you

Egg substitute options:

• mayonnaise
• marshmallows
• eggs
• foam
• spiderwebs
• egg
• aquafaba
• hunger
• short haircuts
• eggs

will I see you in the afterstrife

certainly hope not