Sarah Twycross

Welcome to West London we have: Egham. Feltham. Winnersh. Winnersh Triangle. Virginia Water.

Supposedly these are real places but as far as I'm concerned they're the names of the conductor's designated smoke spots and exist only to delay my journey. Anyone who gets on at these stations is a psyop.

shout-out to that bit of west london where the tube station names all become a bit AI generated

A hastily edited photoshop of a Hard Times article. It reads: "We taught this Dungeon Master to Understand the 5th Edition Encounter System and She Hanged Herself" Slapped over the top of the original article image is my fursona (an emo butch wolf gal)

Pathfinder fixes this

gave a gamer guy a hickey, call me the mark applier, going down on him for hours cause i got that iron lung, spending five nights at freddy's the way i keep coming over, people recognising me at this point i'm saying "hello neighbour!"

alexa can you skeet a banger for me. alexa can you send bomb threats to my senator. alexa can you fuck my wife

she's kinda. y'know. *mimes sucking a dick but i gag and actually puke in real life*

this may be the most English man ever to exist.

girls will literally say “estrogen hasn’t done that much” and then post this [picture of KIKI, labeled day 1, and BOUBA labeled day 365]

At 20, after the worst year of my life, I developed a grey streak from stress.

Over time this grey streak has become less pronounced.

Unfortunately women really liked it.

The answer is simple - I must once again be locked in a pressure cooker of mental illness so I can go grey again.

Who's in?

rodney dangerfield

They're calling HRT a "sex-rejecting procedure" now. I guess that means my wife gives me HRT every night!

we do, and it’s wrong. “Pre” relegates precum to a subordinate status, always “less than.” It has its own story that deserves to be told

you shouldn't hate trans people because we are trans.
that's bigoted.
you should hate trans people because we are, as a demographic, incredibly annoying.

tumblr user evilwizard posts: ontology professor (adding another grain of sand to my enclosure): is it a pile yet me (up to my neck in sand, struggling to breathe): I’ll never talk ontology professor: just tell me when it becomes a pile and this can all be over it has like 12K reblogs and 16K likes

tumblr still has it, despite everything. social media platforms are really almost impossible to kill.

me when it's the american revolution and I want to support the king but I didn't really read up on which army was which before I enlisted:

COOL SEX TIP: if you are close to orgasm, don't say "I'm close" or "I'm gonna cum"; instead, declare riichi. this way, if they get you off, you can ron, but if you have to get yourself off, you can tsumo, indirectly indicating dissatisfaction with your partner's sexual performance

IME closed beta testing is a form of cock and ball torture that usually has to be followed up with cognitive behavioral therapy yes

It is 4am, which means it is time to crash out, assuming I have hurt people I care about & that the only way to repent for my sins is to disappear forever. This also means it is time to go lie in bed and do my best impression of CBT until sunrise - and if you experience this feeling, you should too.

No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor

the most anti-LGBT+ government since Thatcher is also the government with the most links to paedophiles since Thatcher. what an odd coincidence that requires no further thought or inspection

Two nickels, etc.

I think sometimes queers get mad and disillusioned with the idea of queer community because its the first community they've ever actually been a part of.

how it feels

eagerly anticipating my graduation to "doesn't play well with others" from "doesn't play with others"

I know it's a little rich from the person who's never really had a platform but when you're trying to build a reputation and make connections it kinda sucks to have to switch platform every other year and start again.

✦ High pray drive ✦

today's the day

team pig til I die