Ineffectualdemon

I keep forgetting I have an account here. I don't know what people talk about on social media outside of Tumblr. Do you want a picture of my cat?

I am so cold and feel so shitty but it's a crime that I am unwell when my husband is unwell. He takes care of me everyday! I am supposed to return the favour when he gets sick which is once every 5 years :( unfair

Also today I had the world's most perfect nap and I don't know how I can go on having already tasted heaven

Opened bluesky for the first time in ages because AO3 is down and I'm desperate to try and find updates for when it will be back

The fact I can't buy a plushie of the star trek unicorn dog is making me sad

Tumblr is fighting over a walrus and a fairy

I should add I made sure they knew that even if I'm dealing with stuff they can still lean on me and they said "of course! You're the parent! It's your job!" Which I'm very glad about but will also have complicated Feelings about out of their sight

But that my thought it was a given that I wouldn't lean on them for emotional support because they were the kid and if we talk about hard things its so I can support them made me feel I'm doing something right. But also made me Deal With Feelings about my childhood

I should say I already mentioned and had lined up a group I could go to talk about this stuff. It was also specific stuff that my husband can't always support me on and I didn't go into detail with my kid.

I am open with my teenager about my mental health but always try to frame it as not their job to fix. Got an indication that I'm doing ok when I mentioned that I need a space to talk about hard stuff & my kid replied: "yeah of course and you can't go to me for comfort because that would be weird."

A little sock fae creature because my friend bad8cally said this was my vibes. I took it as a compliment

It's still hard though because I've been really isolated since 2017 when my health collapsed completely. So meeting people and developing a social circle (which was hard before) feels Impossible. Especially as I don't know how to mask my autism anymore

I'm trying to not only have Tumblr as my social media for many reasons but more importantly actually make social connections in real life which is difficult as my disabilities keep me indoors more than not. I have found at some local groups I can connect with online or my husband can take me to

My favourite ships in SVSSS are Moshang and Cumplane and I don't know what that says about me except that I have good taste. I like Cumplane more as technically platonic soulmates but more frenemies bound together by fate despite their own opinions on the matter

Hah I wrote a fic about them being soulmates (derogatory) once but thats really what they are

I asked my friend what characters she associated with me and she couldn't remember any of them specifically but she knew the vibe so created a sock faery who lives under your bed and isn't helping you (but definitely is). It's the best compliment I've ever had

Trying to find a social media where I feel at home