Frog Witch

The absolutely unhinged way I used to sing the song Cowboy Take Me Away at age 11.

In the morning my little toes are froze so I have my driving socks I put on. I drive to work with my socks and sandals then I get to work and I leave my driving socks in the car 🤣🤣🤣 today I almost forgot to take them off and had to go back 🤣🤣

I loved murderbot season 1

Ever been in a traumatic parking situation where you’re 3 inches away from every single car and there is no way you’re going to get out so you just toss the keys in the ground and run away? Hahaha I made it out! But I thought about bailing lol

Just so thankful for friends that meet me at my mental illness limitations 💕💕💕

NOBODY WANTS APPLE BUILDING IPHONES HERE YOU IGNORANT FAT TODDLER.

Good God you exhausting sloppy goon

Driving home and Landslide comes on…”can I handle the seasons of my life?” UM NO I CANNOT 🫨🫨😭🤣🤣

My nephews were very concerned I went to Disney by myself but sometimes women go to space so I can def go to Epcot

How many sweet tart can I eat til my tongue comes off

I ate a lot of trappeys red devil sauce and now I don’t feel so goods

I was gone for nearly 2 weeks but it wasn’t even enough 😂😂

I went to Disney World by myself and when you don’t have anyone to talk to you listen to other people. I overheard a child saying mom what if Tinkerbell is dead. I also overheard a couple arguing because NO TODD I SAID THIS WAY NOT THAT WAY GFD!

What about donkey Kong the country version soundtrack

One of favorite memories is when everyone told ET their name was my name and I looked like a fraud

Things that bring me joy

I thought this said Hydrox like the cookie and I was like nah me neither I’m splurging for real Oreos

I just realized there is a job called “falconer” and that’s it, that’s for me.

I’m eating scallops for my health and B said it smells like long John silver died in here 😂😂😂😂

I got the world’s ugliest color hokas today but wow I’m not even mad.

Was explaining to my twin nephews today that they could come over to pet our cats but the cats have claws. They showed up in ski masks as protective gear and that just really tickled me 😂

At least wheat thins exist

Apparently there’s a reason he’s called PUNKsutawney Phil, amirite? ❄️ 🥶

An example of what has happened to my brain 😂😂

Changing my email signature to, “Kindly have the day you deserve!”

Harrison Butker’s team got their butt kicked he hehe he he hehheeeeee

Trash ass Chiefs with Christian nationalist kicker and Trump loving Mahomes family kicked into the dirty by the Eagles who come from a city with a big Black population during a Super Bowl with Kendrick Lamar and a super Black halftime show all in front of Trump. Love it.

thank you to Kendrick and the Eagles for making terrible people angry tonight

My jersey for the big game