Nick Gonzo

All of the critical thinking skills of a ham salad sandwich.

firewood, 2025

A little queer vampire, as a treat 💋🩸

I’m pretty sure that thing can penetrate you, Hal.

Drop an album that was important to you when you were nineteen.

I’m a big fan of Norman Reedus because I can never work out what the hell is going on with all that.

Unfortunately not this

Movies just aren’t insane enough

Just got Wes Chatham and Wes Streeting confused and praised the Minister for Healths portrayal of Amos in The Expanse.

I saw Passengers at the time and the fact anyone saw this as anything other than a Misogynist horror movie blew my mind.

I remember talking to a colleague about it who thought it was sweet when really it’s about selfishly destroying someone else’s life for your own satisfaction.

Even Wiki calls it a "romance". 😂 It's a story of abuse that ends well for the abuser. In that, it's successful, like a horror film, but it's one of the filthiest romance I've ever seen. You really have to have a disgusting view of human relationships to call that a love story. The production design is neat, the sets are great, love the spaceship, the actors are great, just don't call it a love story, and above all, don't tell me it's a movie for Valentine's Day lol

Happy anniversary to the time Prime recommended Passengers (2016) to me for Valentine's Day. It's been two years and I'm still laughing about it.

I couldn't stop laughing. This movie works as a horror story, not a (incredibly toxic) love story. 😅

Imagine just being evil.

Yes please

he still is btw

Don't give anything an Emmy until it's as good as this.

Also this looks bad.

Also I digest food externally.

I would like to live in a world where anyone can eat in peace without people taking pictures of them.

I appeared in the background of an Instagram reel the other day because someone videoed a bar where I was eating a bagel.

I looked fucked.

TheNational.scot Wes Streeting defends Lord Peter Mandelson's relationship with Jeffrey Epstein... Sep 9, 2025 The Independent Streeting says Mandelson 'not guilty by association' over Epstein birthday book, Streeting says. Sep 9, 2025

more ppl need to be pointing out that wes streeting is peter mandelson's protege and that he defended mandelson remaining friends with epstein after he was convicted.

Is it that it was a deeply unfair move and that it you take a bunch of high speed pictures of a person doing anything, especially the act of digestion, and then scroll through them you can make them look weird?

Once they opened the iris all the way and he saw the Time Nexus at the heart of the solar system, he would have changed. He would have realised that money was sentient and we were bred as its food and just realised that there is no point.

He also would have learnt how to eat on Camera.

You become PM and they reveal a secret truth about the universe to you that just ruins your capacity to be a human.

I’m imagining an alternative universe where they made Ed Miliband into a Skeletor.

Remember when he was a Lawyer and presumable could legally identify the differences between his arse and his elbow.

Is being PM a wasting disease?

Does it require you to sit on a block of radium every day?

I don't usually keep up with Celebrity News but apparently Joseph Gordon-Levitt sucks.

Reporter: Do any of you have a favorite animal?

Child: My favorite one is a gold snake that can move. It has gold eyes, and it has a super-duper tail…

Reporter: Mr. Mamdani, the second question for you.

Mamdani: Yes. It’s also the golden snake.

YOU - No one wants to *do* anything with me... no one wants to party with me.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Stay with me!” You feel burning hot tears streaming from your eyes.

YOU - I don't want to be anymore. It hurts.

Fuck off John everyone knows Harry Potter isn't some important work of fiction, it sells, you want a check, you couldn't care less about the rest.

Instant presidency for any Democrat that promises not to shit themselves in the Oval
office.