lisabug

Oh! 😂 😭😭

if you can’t handle me at my sarcastic, you can’t have me at my blow job

Depeche Mode will be the background song for an AARP commercial one day.

Telling someone they’re alive for a much greater purpose is a really passive aggressive way of telling them you think they’re a loser

Forget the Music Hall of Fame, the Geology Museum is absolutely filled to the brim with classic rock

Blue Öyster Cult:
Don’t fear the reaper.

Me: Sure, sure. That’s exactly what 5 reapers in a trench coat would say.

meditating for mental calm but serendipitously spacing out

shitposters are generous with humour
we're short of everything else

When she says she loves giving head

Pet Smart ❤️

Chelle 🏆

Laughing_politely.gif

Dalí’s painting of outer space is a masterpiece in SighFi.

oh you need space? well babe im not an astronomy professor so i dont know how to give that to you

In space, no one can hear you scream. In cyberspace, no one can shut you up.

You already have a file called DraftOfBadJokesForBlueSky. Do you want to replace it?

Beach birds west of Florida? Do you mean the gulls of Mexico?

“Stop me if you’ve herd this one.”

- shepherd dad humor

I always allow adequate time between workouts to fully recover. I'm going on 2 years now since my last gym session.

smug ass candy just snickered at me

The temperature got so high today that it started watching itself on The Weather Channel.

Good call! 😉

“Stupid kid fell in the well again.”

-if Lassie had been a cat

😁🫶

😂😉

Tossed my scale into the bay because I didn’t like the numbers.

and to my grandchildren i leave 86 gigabytes of menswear photos to win any menswear argument online

How can you be dead inside, you just had pizza.

my next post will be an extinction level event. going to create more fossil fuel for y’all. oh wait.