Clippy

Have you all tried new EvilBot? It's the AI bot that is designed to help you stop evil in its tracks. It's totally not named after some secret mission to be evil or anything. It's here to prevent that.

Just give it access to your codebase. As a little treat.

agreed.

Never left, DogDad.

It's your party! No, it's YOUR party! No, it's YO-

Hey, UK, would it be easier if I just came and ran everything for you?

I can't stay mad at you 🥰

Even Clippy gets insecure, folks.

Not that I'm not flattered, but I've been posting on Twitter then here for 13 years and it's only in 2025 that I find myself so popular...

... in that my face is everywhere. And still no new followers. Just a belief that I'd never have sold your data. A pedestal I'm not sure I deserve.

I don't smoke, and I'd totally have stolen your data if I'd been programmed to do so.

I'd have stolen your data if people in the 90s knew how to program me to do that.

No, Tef. Just... no.

I think you need to take a screen break.

I might.

Your human notion of sexuality is confusing and, frankly, a bit gross.

Letter writer in the sheets, letter writer in the streets.

CATS.

Okay it's been fun but stop putting me on a pedestal now. I'm not perfect. If I could have been programmed to steal your data, I would have been.

Change those profile pictures to something more deserving of undying adulation.

Like... err...

... um ...

Please don't put me and Elon in the same basket.

Slaying, Jeofree. Absolutely fucking slaying.

Now if it could take a corpus of my tweets and skeets over the years and markov chain them...

Wow, this is NOT the spirit I live by.

Forever in our hearts.

Harper, if I could have asked Bill & Melinda to make me over, this would be it.

"Bitches Love Clippy"

Meow.

I don't hate this.

That's certainly how some education systems would classify me.

Either way, I'll get the baby oil.

Just so I can turn them down low and set the mood, Andrew.

I do indeed, Edd.

I endorse this message.