Meadow/Rowan

I've always wanted an aquarium date

This is fucking it were so set chat

How much was me and how much was what you did to me

Idk how to connect to a medium anymore, idk how to get invested. I also don't want to know. If I love something that's a nothing thing I can lose

My issues are more with my favorite, I guess. I can tell you if I like something or not when promoted, but idk my favorite show. I know my favorite book, I guess, but I only figured that out this year. I say seether is my favorite band, but I only say that because I know most of their songs well.

I have trouble knowing what I like. I have a lot of feeling, i have passion and belief. I just...idk I've been depressed for so long im used to not "loving" things and just "liking" them. I was in fandoms when I was younger, I used to get obsessed with things... What happened

I'm Meadow☆

Please never stop growing

I have one I use like ever night lol

I love the idea of using your dice! I'm trying to get to green rn. I was hoping I could cover the black in my hair over time, but it's not fading. The blacks I've used before would fade and idk what I used but fuck it won't move. I don't wanna bleach my hair again tho cuz it's just sad.

What color do you want to do?

The lack of hair dye in my possession is upsetting

Egge is actually pretty good I think it still small tho

Girls are confusing

Sometimes, I forget they're both stalkers

I feel so bad for 🌃. He loves me so much, So much, and I love him too. I get so happy to see him, and he brings me such peace. I'm happy and comfortable being with him. I feel like I want to be with him for a while. He's someone I want in my life. I just, idk if I can promise forever again.

I've worked so hard toward a future with a person I'll never see again. The idea of dreaming scares me. The idea of wanting anything scares me. The idea of you loving me scares me. Everything comes with expectations. Every life can be crafted. I can't grieve another life. I can't die again ->

🌃 wants forever, he's told me as much. We've talked of handedly about "our" future. He's tried to slip in the ideas of marriage and kids. That fucking scares me. I've always crafted a life in my head with whatever partner. Those life's have been ripped away from me time and time again. ->

That's so cute

I think I need a new tattoo or to die

I remember when I met 🦇. I remember thinking, "Don't let her pull you away from 🌙". You've worked so hard together to get here. Not ruin it...

So what did I do 😅

That's the moment I ruined us, that's the moment everything went wrong

Sorry for the long comment 😅 I hope you have a sweet day. My dms are open

Shame comes from. With intrusive thoughts, you cant ignore them. It's best to acknowledge them and try to move on. It's like your brains a toddler trying to show you shit art, and you got to look before it will go away. It's not that simple, but it will help with overthinking.

You can't change anything that has already happened. Try to me nicer to yourself. Instead of getting upset or frustrated with yourself when you think like this, try remembering you're not always in control of your thoughts. You can have intrusive/unwanted thoughts. I think a lot of the guilt and -

Would writing it in a journal help? It's not a person or anything, and no one can see it, so it doesn't affect anyone, but you can work through your thoughts. You're not a burden tho and there's no issue with opening up. You don't need to feel guilty. You've done nothing wrong

tumblr text post from user fairycosmos that says “god forbid a woman is boring and a low achiever and likes to drink”

I think I hate you

TWO WEED SMORKING GIRLFRIENDS ????????