Jesse Pizza

Lisa Barlow flashing her large stack of cash while shopping is all I needed to see. I’m now fully invested in this season of #rhoslc

Being sick while also having your period should be illegal. #soconfusingtobeagirl

Don’t you just love getting a notification that your flight is delayed the moment you pull up to the airport? #tryingtocatchaflight

Of course nobody told Brittany about Kristen’s surprise engagement. She immediately told Jax about it when they specifically asked everyone to keep quiet. But sure Brittany, Kristen is your closest friend… #thevalley #jaxtaylorsucks

I love that Jax is in disbelief that Brittany didn’t show up to meet him at the restaurant, when Jax didn’t show up for entire their marriage #whoops #thevalley #jaxtaylorthenarcissist

Janet is my least favorite cast member of the valley. Get this ridiculous woman off my screen. I swear every time she opens her mouth I have to say “SHUT THE FUCK UP JANET”. #janetsucks #thevalley #miaisanangel #janetisfake

I think this was the best episode of aftersun to “accidentally” watch. Of course I wanted to see Paige, but I love the new host Sophie Monk now too! #didiflashyou #wasitfleshy #aftersun

The only reason why Taylor and Ace stood behind Huda is because Jalen is FINE AS HELL and they just wanted to eliminate competition. #loveislandusa #littlemanace

Get Jax Taylor off my screen. The valley has been fine without him allllll season. #thevalley

I survived my first Father’s Day after my birth Father’s death. Thankfully he had already been dead to me for the past 20 years though. #happyfathersday

I never thought I’d be elated to clean and mop my floors at night before bed, on a Friday night. But here we are.

I work at a brick and mortar store and for the past 3 days all I’ve been doing is change tags and doing price changes. #pricesaregoingup

Me for the past couple weeks:
🗣️ parker nooo - tsunami - buddhism #whitelotus

I know I watch too much real housewives because I just saw a picture of Ryan Murphy for the first time and convinced myself that it was actually PK. #rhobh #dorit

When I want to watch girl drama, I watch bravo. But if I wanted to watch boy drama, I’d just watch the news.

Grocery pickup or buying online and picking up in store are my absolute most favorite things. The world is a too peoplely, and this helps.

I was supposed to start my period yesterday. But I guess my body decided to wait until national women’s days, because that seemed more fitting. #nationalwomensday

Shrink-flation is real. I just ordered my usual order at cane's with 2 cane’s sauce and only used one. ONE SAUCE. This is blasphemy! It used to be enough food to require two

It’s wedding day! And hopefully every girl days no, except for maybe Monica #loveisblind #loveisblinddontchaknow

Petition to not have Kyle in the house, but keep Amanda obviously. #summerhouse

My new favorite thing to do while getting ready in the morning is to pluck one eyebrow, then get completely distracted and forget to even look at my other eyebrow. They’re sisters, not twins.

Oh you like the scent that I’m wearing? It’s called I spilled vanilla iced coffee on myself this morning.

Reality TV is like a cleanse to my over thinking brain.

Shopping black out on 2/28? Of course I participated and didn’t spend any money. To be honest, I haven’t bought anything except essentials since 1/18.

You know you’re addicted to making your own bread when you’re sick as a dog and still baking a loaf because you already made the dough when you were feeling well.

Honestly, I only started watching Southern Charm because of Summer House and Paige. #southerncharm #summerhouse

Today is my day off and all I want to do is rewatch the Grammys and cry while singing along with the girls, which I am. But I also have a 8am in home appointment with our natural gas to do whatever needs to be done with our gas.
I answered the door in tears, guess I’m doing both.

Bronwyn needs to permanently replace Meredith. #rhoslc

Can this be Meredith’s last season? Where does she live the other 6 months? She can be a part of that housewives franchise.

Petition to add Heidi Montag to the next cast of real housewives of Beverly Hills. #rhobh