jase

bullied daily inside my own home… if it wasn’t so funny i would be furious

“i’m hungry” “are you hungry or are you hungry-presenting?”
“i’m so tired” “or are you tired-presenting”

i’m going-to-lie-down-in-the-road-presenting

was showing my kids my childhood photos and when i hit the teen years my 15 year old said “i didn’t know you were emo!” and i said “i wasn’t emo!” and he said “the photos don’t lie” and i said “i wasn’t emo, i was emo-presenting!” and i am afraid that just made things worse for me

is it a CRIME to be attached to the one word email address you made when you were 13 on the desktop computer at your friend belinda’s house? according to some!

any time i give my email address to a shop assistant they hit a panic button under the desk and i am dragged away by security and my photo is put on a wall with every other millennial who hasn’t let go of their hotmail account. i’m banned from half the shops in my city.

dot from animaniacs lying on a desk, head in hands. her eyes are hearts and there are hearts around her head. she is swooning.

i just heard her say “i know, my MUM showed me that” and i am beginning to wonder what her friends really think of me because my track record isn’t great

my kid asked me what we would look like if we didn’t have skin so i showed her the rock dj music video by robbie williams (because in this house we believe in science) and now she’s on a group video call making all her friends watch it too

wish you had

a video of my friend’s ex doing standup just came across my fyp and the boo that escaped my mouth as i blocked his account was so full-on it felt like it came from someone behind me and i got a little bit scared

this is my dream diary now

had a dream that i was hanging out with people and went to the toilet and while i was on the toilet i heard the conversation turn to a subject i knew a lot about but i couldn’t participate in the conversation because i was on the toilet… doesn’t mean anything probably

mauro from cake boss. he is a large balding white man wearing a white chefs jacket with his name and carlo’s bakery embroidered on it in red, and he is cradling a huge rolling pin

it was kiiiind of working to be fair but i was embarrassed and ran to the bathroom and then woke up, so in another life there is a jase with a faded black and white portrait of this on their arm

had a dream last night that i got a tattoo of mauro from cake boss & immediately regretted it so much that i scrubbed at it at the sink in the tattoo shop while bawling my eyes out & everyone was watching me use a bar of soap to try to remove a fresh tattoo of mauro from cake boss from my forearm

omg same here, i’ve now thought about the haunted mask too long and i keep rubbing at my neck as if i’m wearing it and i’m stressing myself out. i wouldn’t say i have a phobia of rubber masks but i will say i have never worn one because of that story!

the haunted mask is the scariest goosebumps story because not being able to remove something that is making you hot and uncomfortable and this experience slowly turning you evil is something that ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE (I’m autistic)

me taking a full length mirror selfie in a cute pink bakery. the mirror is framed pink and has a decal on it that says “damn you look good”. i am wearing black tights, black mary jane crocs, a black cropped jumper/sweater, and a maroon pleated mini skirt. i am wearing glasses and my dark brown hair is cut in a bob. in the background there is a shelf with sugar cookies on it and in the foreground there is a leafy green potted plant.

bought a croissant and ate it in bed while watching tabatha’s salon takeover and ignoring my looming deadline because i’m an adult and unfortunately i can do what i want

darling i love you x

it was my youngest’s birthday recently and she was so overwhelmed by and appreciative of her gifts/well-wishes. i said “well, you only turn 13 once!” and she said “that’s true, however technically you only turn any age once” omg shes right, i’m so embarrassed

great vest kay

“hey babes, just easier to organise if we’re all in the same chat! here’s the link to pay me your portion xx”

titanic movie poster from 1997. rose and jack embrace at the top of the poster, and the bow of the ship takes up the rest of the poster. the word TITANIC is written in all caps over the boat.

when i was a kid i had this poster on my wall and one night i had a very high fever and the poster started speaking to me and my parents had to take it down because i couldn’t stop crying

thank you!!!

thank you LOVE U

big knife! small wife!

yes, but i also come with the knife

i can’t make any promises sorry :/

thank you it was a lovely treat

ME