Andrew

Reading Madonna In a Fur Coat and I can’t help but think of this song lyric when I think of Maria Puder

a woman says i 'm like the cryptkeeper with her hands on her face ALT: a woman says i 'm like the cryptkeeper with her hands on her face

Found out my coworker is “never heard of 1985 by Bowling for Soup” years old

Got a little Botox today because why not

Sorry I got ahead of my horny self

STUNNING

Something something my penis

If you saw that, no you didn’t

Lemme ride

Oh yes this is a beautiful thing to wake up to 😮‍💨🥵😮‍💨🥵😮‍💨🥵😮‍💨🥵

So HOT

a group of people sit around a table with a laptop ALT: a group of people sit around a table with a laptop

*long-winded discussion in therapy*

Therapist: … Andrew, what you’re describing is significant body dysmorphia.

Me:

🥹🥹🥹🥹

Give em a show baby

Hahahahhaha

✋🏼👅🤚🏼

Everything* reminds me of him**

*The girth of this cucumber
** @nixostorme.bsky.social

You’re so hot omg

You’re so HOT ✋🏼👅🤚🏼

Whatever it is, am I in?

✋🏼👅🤚🏼

🥵🥵🥵

🥺🥹 thank you :)

So like, how long is it gonna take to get my body snatched? Or like look appropriately hot in a speedo?

I am DEFINITELY going to start going back to the gym this week because I can only tolerate being depressed OR fat/ugly, but not both lol

You’re so so pretty

Valid feelings, but you’re already so hot AND sexy AND smart :)

So 0% lol

You’re so pretty

Well, I’m here after an attempt to take a social media break.