Nick Shitty

You don't get more firetrucks than that.

Last night my uncle stole my credit card and bought a boat.

In my family vacations, we would put all our cars in different locations.

You talk like a guy who doesn't have the ambition of getting better by training in yoga and you never hear anything about it.

You talk like a guy who never worked a day in his life and still wants to eat at Wendy's.

We need a Revolution of the Normies.

I’m not being glib. This is a literal war between two different realities, one where a cabal of psychopathic cult leaders and messianic oligarchs enslaves us — and the other where we get a grip and destroy them instead.

Him: What are the neighbors’ names again? The couple next door?

Me: Duncan and Angus.

Him: Not the dogs, the people.

Me: Why the fuck would I know that?

now following 999 accounts so the next one gotta be a real banger

This post is like having sex with a shark!

I drove my Subaru in a supernova. I could see through its foggy sky as people ran by. The air was hot but just warm enough for a baby.

Tree tunnel. Tree canopy over a road. Morning dreary rain lighting

#treetunnel
The only way is through

I was looking for Thanksgiving Dinner And Sparta, but this is off the hook!

Jack Hopkins Welcome to Jack Hopkins, where I challenge traditional thinking and explore how to experience life more joyfully, resiliently, and productively. I use my knowledge of human behavior to engage with gue...

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It was just not as easy when our first match was on the field, going up with 10 people cheering us on. We were disappointed at the last minute when a guy started kicking us in the groin, and we couldn't go anywhere.

Soccer is like life. If we want to win, we are going to have to get the ball out of the net. We don't want to say that our teammates have gotten the ball. We've done it before with our fans.