Polina

Finally yet another depression episode is over. I am just as tired as usual, though it is not that exhausting to exist now.

Career change is a substantial move that requires not only much effort, but also tons of motivation and... courage.

I am not even that sure I have it all, yet what I definitely lack is a desire to stay in the field. I am fed up with journalism in Russia and I'm not going back.

The metaphor of fighting gives me strength. I fight depression by floating in the current, brushing teeth, eating and sleeping on schedule or close to it, going outside at least sometimes. What looks like basics is a deal for me. Not really big, yet requiring an effort.

Patient, heal Thyself © 🙌

A girl on the selfie, the post author, is lying on a bed with a cat on her chest, looking into the camera. The photo is taken during one of the depression episodes this spring.

The most sabotaging feature of depression is that every time it’s wiping out all the meaningfulness from my life. Eating on time? Too weak to get up yet. Sweeping the floor? Postpone as I’m not into it now. Brushing teeth? Not today. Just lie in your bed and breathe normally, trying to float.

However, the fact that the chemical processes in my brain shifted and drifted does not yet mean depression’s supremacy over my life. I just remind myself that every action in my life is another brick in the wall, and to build something great, I need to keep going.

This Idea had a profound effect on me, actually. When the E̶m̶p̶i̶r̶e depression strikes back, I regard every household chore as a small and yet meaningful and determined act of resilience. This is not about hyperbolisation; I’ve been in depression’s chains for 12 years already, and I’m not giving up.

While fighting depression, I got to appreciate my routines even more. As my doc says, ‘at least something’ is not actually the least. David Burnes said in his book on mood therapy that people are likely to feel much better when they do anything rather than when they do practically nothing.

WHY ARE Y'ALL NOT USING ALT TEXT. WHAT'S WRONG WITH Y'ALL.

It's not hard. It's not time consuming. It's not onerous. There's pre made tech in-app for it.

It really sucks that you don't use it. A lot of you are newish here and just screwed up how culturally prevalent it was. Get with the program.

An archive photo of my dear #GretaKissanen enjoying summer 2024.
#ThrowbackThursday #catsofbluesky

Reading thread starts here:

Crafts thread starts here:

What does the brave new world of socialism look like?

Long story short: famine, racketeering and despair under scorching heatwave.

People exercising power and people left with nothing and nowhere to go. One by one, they fade away, showing their best and worst sides

Being humane matters.

#booksky

>>> One by one, one small detail at a time, you get to see the image of what the southern part of what used to be the Russian empire looked like soon after the 1917 revolution. The fine art of introducing small details makes the storytelling thrillingly vivid. >>>

>>> By the way, have you ever been excited by some location depicted in a story so much that you wanted to go there? Tell me! Because I have a list of travel destinations inspired by books!

#booksky #readingclub #traveldestinations #fiction

>>>

>>> When the reader is exposed to the story at the beginning, what impressed me most was... descriptions of nature. The wording is fascinating.

Due to first financial, then political reasons I have never been to Crimea. With all due respect, now I can say this is one of my dream destinations. >>>

2. «Солнце мёртвых» / The Sun of the Dead

One of the hardest readings in my life. One could never be prepared to this story. Yet I do believe that this book is worth reading. Moreover, for every USSR admirer this book is a must. >>>

#booksky #readingclub #russianliterature #fiction

Fancy showing off my crafts here on #CraftSky. Have a look at this majestic #embroidery I've recently finished! Gotta send it to my mom as a present.
I adore like these colours! and curls and shades... If you want me to share the pattern, I'll scan it and post the next sky in the thread. 🙌🏻

2. Whatever they say, the people who start wars are often thinking chiefly about domestic politics

5. Wars are easy to start and hard to stop

Jump Mr. Frodo!

A barred owl sits in a tree and yawns.

Owl yawn! 🥱🦉🪶

А small black cat with pale yellow eyes sitting on the top of the couch. She is staring at the window mysteriously, and obviously her head is full of cat thoughts.

Photo exchange of motivational minions complete ✅

A big fluffy cat with a light and dark brown coat and light blue eyes is sitting on the bed, with her hind left leg up in the air right behind the left ear. The cat is staring at the camera and her face expression is pretty confused

It's #Caturday! Show off your purring furbabies 😌✨

#catsofbluesky #Cappucchinathecat

>>> I have no right neither to forget nor to turn away from. There were no good people, no good nations/ethnicities, no good authorities here. At all.

Violence and murder is never the way.

The scenes of raids and hiding everything you could hide were, too, heartbreaking. Realising that it was only the beginning of the whole era of racketeering, arrests, surplus appropriation system and threats, made the reading ever darker. Yet this is the period of my history that >>>

The most bitter part for me was, actually, the scene where a small guy poured a hate speech to the officers; too small to judge on his own and to question the adults, this 5-8-year-old little one has soaked up the attitude from his environment.

>>> the cracking sound of floor accompanying the approaching footsteps, the lightning-fast train of thoughts in the moments of chase, petrification with overwhelming emotions along with pain of loss.

This is the story of invasion, defence, bitter deaths, raids — and parallel worlds coexisting.

What I particularly like in this novel is the language of metaphors, the fine art of creating the whole atmosphere and vivid images by mentioning small details, like weather descriptions (just notes, not even the whole sentences!), the smell of wooden furniture in the old apartment, >>>

1. «Дни Турбиных» / The Days of the Turbins

Oh what a perfect time to read this novel while being Russian living in Russia in 2025 *sarcasm* And yet, as the timeline isn't gonna get any better, let's c̶h̶e̶w̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶g̶l̶a̶s̶s read some more.

Here's yet another place I can both ramble and reflect on books I've read, so bear with me 😌

disclaimer: I read mostly in Russian now, so in case I post any covers/quotes, I'm gonna provide them in both original and English languages.

#booksky #readingclub #literature #nonfiction #fiction