A middle-aged woman somewhere has written slash fiction about RFK/Rock, I guarantee it

Is the referee the one that polishes the balls before placing them back on their spots?

And, if so, where, and was she ok with that too?

We had this one last week!

His funeral must have emptied out the local Spoons. I bet England Bum Flare Man was a guest star

If he'd done what his mum wanted, he'd he his own dad and that would have been kind of awkward in 1985

Rubbish. I've seen The Crystal Maze

2 girls 1 stick would like a word

The guy who gave his medal to Goebbels was a right Knut

Q.E.D.

Google: "Let's be evil"

Too old to join the Army, too - cut-off age is 39, and that's only for officer trainees, not squaddies

"Barratt Homes!" if you're of a certain age

He was a bit of a twat so Thomas, Percy and James did the same

Jobs are often sized for people of surprisingly low capacity. If you're halfway intelligent, you can do a good job with 10% effort. The stressful part is looking busy for the other 90% of the time

My then three year old was going out in the snow and exclaimed, "where's me fucking gloves?" We ignored it and she never swore again. She'd been babysat a few times by the Essex fishwife next door

Rule 34

So make a mess, drink a lot of tea, then say "meh" and go home

A work colleague's dad puked out of a moving taxi's window in Newport and got an entire bus queue

It would be cancelled for cultural appropriation now

Doubt it works on Reform MPs

This is why we allowed cats to domesticate us

Foodie Bollocks in "Viz" has these sort of charlatans nailed

During the Iraq war, a rumour spread that a battalion of US troops had entered Jordan, but it turned out to be false. She'd never left the UK

SOP in Victorian times was to have a family photo with your dead kid propped up (child mortality being very high) before they started to niff and you had to bury them

My ex-wife once asked me where people put food to safely defrost before fridges were invented

I used to like the one they did on The Apprentice but they seem to have realised that the show is a boring parody of itself nowadays

The Ticketmaster CEO needs a heated driveway. Show sympathy

Hence the use of "USanian" instead of "American" to annoy them