Deets

New category of “most reliable to make me giggly”: “Although is Phoebe there?……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Yes. So—”

Not the fs funniest but I think abt “How is this a child size soda?” “It’s roughly the size of a two-year-old child, if that child were liquified” ALL the time

Also the fact that it’s not just “child” or “liquified child” rly makes me wish I was in the room when that joke was constructed

Easiest spot the difference game ever

is there a reason you didn’t go with dubuy it? too obvious? (genuine question)

had this tab open all day tryna make “Disneylu” work i give up

The Langeliers Lament

also, if I may, the direct-address, casual, longstanding familiarity with a host (and writers 🙃) is virtually unique!! The closest analog I can think of is sitcom which is also the only thing more commonly called dying than late night

WGA statement on Paramount’s decision to cancel the Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

I like to not think too much about what mayo is actually made of

Poscast utensil draft come back

Crazy how sometimes all that stands between you crying in public and you not doing that is a bagel & smoothie

First post in a while you know it’s important

Serious question: do british motorcycle dudes exist? I’m imagining a big tough guy with a beard in a leather jacket and bandana speaking in a british accent and it feels deeply incorrect. But they must right?

‪In other news I am #opentowork‬

They totally soft launched it in the crossclimb the other day

A fifth game has hit the linkedin ?

If my future fiance doesn’t agree to have our eventual first dance to Laendler from The Sound of Music our future engagement is preemptively off.

My two biggest tv-related dreams are to write for late night and to write for a show EPed by Mike Schur. So yeah you could say I'm excited for Hacks S4.

“how was your day?”
who even knows anymore

idrk what’s going on here but i fw it heavy

Continuing to do my duty as an informed citizen of the world 🫡

Oh also, whoever asked that suit question, fuck that guy. Sincerely

‪I pray to all the gods I don’t believe in for the amount of restraint that Zelenskyy showed when he shouldn’t have needed to‬

The U.S. does not deserve to hold this much international leverage. It is the leverage itself (plus a healthy dash of pure cruelty) that allows Trump and Vance to flaunt it like they do.

Even Selina Meyer wouldn’t say something like this. I deeply believe that.

I have 1 hour to write 2.5 pages. Obviously I gotta run out to get a coffee.

imagine hating me and i’m just over here being suuuper annoying

Not to be dramatic but I would die for David Tennant’s BAFTAs wardrobe

A picture of Harris Wittels

Gone ten years today. Hope you’re enjoying your trip through the cosmos.

I only wish he had lived long enough to have a @bsky.app account so I could tag him

They should invent doordash but for bringing the snacks downstairs to me in my room